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Keeping it Together: I'm relishing the joy of seeing others have fun

Kelly Lawler   | Paste BN

This Halloween weekend I had FOMO in the best way possible. 

FOMO, or "fear of missing out," usually is a negative term that refers to when you feel sadness or anxiety that other people are having fun without you. It's the feeling you get sometimes when scrolling through Instagram and seeing all the parties your friends went to that weekend, or the beautiful loaves of bread they baked or sweet family bonding photos. 

There are lots of ways to combat FOMO, first and foremost remembering that social media presents a curated picture of your loved ones that may not match the reality. But this past weekend I found myself leaning into the FOMO, not necessarily the fear of missing out, but the joy of seeing others thrive. 

I'm currently nine months pregnant, and thus unable to do too much outside of baby preparations and sitting around waiting for the kid to come. I did some pumpkin carving this weekend and bought candy for trick-or-treaters who didn't arrive, but otherwise my Halloween was very low key. As I scrolled through photos on my feeds on Sunday and Monday, I found myself elated to see how much fun everyone else was having. There were so many adorable photos of kids who have been cooped up by the pandemic expressing themselves in creative costumes and on the hunt for candy. There were adults returning to couple's costumes. There were dogs dressed up. There were games, tricks and treats.

Even though I didn't get to experience it first hand, I found so much happiness in seeing others happy. Especially 19 months into a pandemic, collective joy has been so hard to find. I didn't get to walk in a Halloween parade, but I felt the fun through osmosis. And in a world with so much tragedy dominating the headlines, I'll take every scrap of happiness I can get. 

A small programming note before I get into the rest of the newsletter today. As I mentioned above, I am nine months pregnant and may give birth at any time in the next few weeks. After that I'll be going on maternity leave for three months during which my great co-writer Sara Moniuszko will be helming the newsletter solo. During that time, Keeping it Together will drop down to once per week, arriving every Saturday. We appreciate all your support, comments, pet photos over the past year and a half of the newsletter's life. I can't wait to come back and regale you all with tales of parenthood and mental health. 

How to deal with getting sick this winter

As more activities, workplaces and schools open back up as the COVID-19 pandemic continues, many of us will be faced with getting sick for the first time in 19 months. And it's not always the worst-case scenario. 

My colleague Hannah Yasharoff spoke with doctors and health experts about what we can expect this winter, and how we can try to frame our thinking around getting a cold and maintaining COVID safety precautions. 

This winter is likely to see the return of colds and the flu, along with continuing COVID-19 cases. The symptoms we once may have glossed over now could indicate something worse – which isn't the most comforting concept. 

"Getting sick now means a possible serious sick – it's not just 'I'm going to stay home because I have a slight cold or a flu,' " says Dr. Kathryn Smerling, a family psychotherapist based in New York City. "The flu-like symptoms are very much like the COVID symptoms, and our minds (can) go to the worst possible scenario, instead of just being able to calm ourselves down and take it one step at a time. … There is the unknown and the unknown is always a scary thing." 

Medical professionals stress that precautions such as getting vaccinated and wearing masks indoors still need to be taken to keep everyone safe. Mental health experts are also highlighting a need to find ways to self-soothe heading into winter, which typically sees an influx of illnesses spreading as people spend more time indoors and travel for holidays. 

"The first two steps that everybody ought to take are pretty obvious, and that is that you should get immunized against COVID and you should get your flu vaccine," says Dr. Chris Beyrer, epidemiologist at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. He notes that "people are right to be concerned," and should stay vigilant about wearing masks and seeking medical attention in the case of shortness of breath. 

"But also, people should also focus on the things that really make them happy and help them cope," he adds. 

The big takeaway from Hannah's story is no to panic, but still take the pandemic seriously. You can read the whole article here. 

Today's reads

Today's pet

No dogs or cats in today's newsletter, because we have a regal looking pair of chickens to share with you. 

"This are two chickens from our farm enjoying a fall stroll together," says Marsha from Iowa. "I really like his hair 'do. Not his partners best side."

I, too, adore that hairstyle. 

That's all for this Tuesday. Thank you so much for reading. The newsletter will be back in your inboxes on Saturday. Until then, stay safe, stay well and keep sending in your feedback and pet photos to our email address here. We love to hear from you. 

All my very best,

Kelly Lawler

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