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Keeping it Together: Doing nothing for my birthday was the best decision I've ever made

Jenna Ryu   | Paste BN

Happy Saturday! 

My name is Jenna Ryu. A little bit about me: I'm a Wellness reporter here at Paste BN, who recently joined the team full-time. And I just celebrated my birthday on Tuesday.

Now usually, I'm all for big festivities. I love grandiose gestures: big balloons, extravagant parties, a giant cake. 

But this year, I did the unthinkable: I did nothing — partially because of the pandemic, but also because I was feeling exhausted (and lazy).  

First time in recent memory, I had no concrete plans for the day. No dinner reservations, no party, not even a cake. I went about my day as I normally would, watching the Food Network and online shopping before having a delicious sushi dinner at home. 

Does it sound disappointing? Maybe to some, but I actually really enjoyed it —more than any birthday celebration I've ever had. It was comforting to be with the people who love me most (something I used to take for granted before quarantining with them last year). 

A lesson I learned over the past year-and-a-half is I don't need any of those grand gestures to be happy. I suggest you all try it too, if you haven't already. 

What is 'affair fog' and how does it work?

Why would anyone risk a healthy, stable marriage for a quick fling?

People often imagine affairs involve a miserable partner escaping a troubled, toxic relationship. And sometimes that's the case, however, infidelity can occur in stable marriages too. 

How? Experts say it's a phenomenon called "affair fog," which happens when the person engaging in an affair is hyper-focused on the excitement of a new relationship and cannot properly understand the mistake they are making. 

"You're not really thinking straight," says Kevin Barry, a licensed psychotherapist. "You meet this seemingly magical person who fills all your needs and shows you what you're missing in your own marriage, but the affair fog doesn't let you see the reality of responsibilities you aren't dealing with: chores, picking up kids and other stressors in longer term relationships."

Some people may end up leaving their spouse for the affair partner. But experts say more often than not, the adrenaline rush of an affair provides only a temporary thrill –with permanent consequences.

To read the full article, click here.

Need some advice? We've got you covered

In case you missed it, our new weekly column kicked off last week with "Two Hot Takes" podcast host Morgan Absher dishing out advice.

Most recently, one man asked: "When I buy my girlfriend gifts for special occasions such as birthdays and holidays, my mom tends to say she likes the items. So I’ll usually try to buy the same items for my mom for Christmas or her birthday. My girlfriend doesn’t like this... Is she being unreasonable, or am I just being antagonizing since she has stated this to me previously but I continue to do it?"

To read Morgan's answer, click here, and be sure to reach out to her via the contact info her article if you'd like to share your story and ask for her take. 

Today's reads

Today's pets

Meet Woodson.

Everyone deserves a good smile this week, and this adorable Aussie from Springfield, Missouri is giving everyone a reason to grin. Look at those precious eyes.

Thanks for sharing, Sue Brown. And thanks to everyone for reading. Remember you can send pet photos, coping tips and anything else to our email.

Hope you all have a great week! And until next time,

Jenna Ryu

Not feeling social yet?: Here are 100 fun, productive things to do at home

More: Single over the holidays? How to feel OK about being alone.

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