Keeping it Together: A solution to your discomfort at the gym? Maybe.
We hate dragging ourselves to the gym – at least, I know I do. And we hate it even more when dealing with potential (and unwelcome) stares or comments from others. These offenses usually come from men.
But would women's-only gyms make things better?
My colleague Jenna Ryu looked into this and found that despite their growing popularity, these establishments only address one part of a bigger issue.
Diane Quinn, a social psychologist at the University of Connecticut, says feeling comfortable and safe while exercising is crucial, not only for your fitness journey but for your mental health. According to a 2018 study, regular exercise can decrease stress, anxiety and depression.
However, "when women experience objectification, like getting comments on their body, leering, ogling or harassment, they tend to feel shame about their body and worry about how it appears to others," Quinn says. This can trigger eating disorders, lower self esteem and discourage women from exercising regularly.
Women's-only gyms have attempted to address these concerns by fostering a safe, supportive environment for those who don't want to worry about being harassed.
But critics also point out that these gyms, despite their many benefits, are only a short-term solution to the harassment and objectification of women. The real problem is men's behavior.
"Harassment is an issue that's more pervasive than just the gym setting. It happens every day in the workplace, on social media, and I don't think women's-only gyms alone will necessarily change bad behavior," says Summer Hungate, a co-owner of Jane's Gym.
To read more of Jenna's story, click here.
Have you ever tried to 'agree to disagree?'
"Let’s just agree to disagree" is a common phrase among couples, explains our columnist Sara Kuburic, the Millennial Therapist. This phrase signals the conflict is being “resolved” by finding one thing that the couple can agree on – the fact that they have opposing views. It means that both individuals have decided to acknowledge and accept their partner's contrasting perspective without agreeing with it.
This approach can help defuse tense situations, avoid repeating arguments and allow relationships to move forward without a neatly packaged conclusion, which, let’s face it, most of us don’t get.
Have you ever tried it? Did it actually work?
Many have tried and failed, but here is why: The way we go about agreeing to disagree is very important. This statement needs to include:
Patience: It’s important to take the time and make each other feel heard. It’s not about “waiting it out;” it’s about honoring individuality.
Mutual goal: The goal of learning to "agree to disagree" is to build a relationship that can hold space for differences.
Clear communication: Tone can change the meaning of a phrase. Is the way we are communicating respectful and thoughtful?
Click here to read the rest of the column and learn more.
My future sister-in-law paid for my wedding dress. Now, she wants her money back.
In our latest advice column, a reader wrote in: "My fiancé and I are getting married in June of 2022. We got engaged in November of 2021 and started planning everything right away.
Three weeks after getting engaged, I went shopping and found my wedding dress. When it was time to pay I was going to do a split pay because it was just so much all at once. It was at this point that my future sister-in-law offered to pay for half and said it was a gift. I did not need her to do this, but she did because she wanted to.
Fast-forward a couple of weeks later, my fiancé and his sister got into an argument and now she says she's not coming to the wedding anymore. The following day she told me I had to pay her back for my wedding dress because it does not feel like a gift anymore. Am I wrong for not wanting to pay my sister-in-law back for my wedding dress after she said it was a gift?"
In response, our advice columnist shared some insight on picking and choosing battles. Read her response here.
Today's reads
- Whoa! How (and why) one New Orleans man ate more than 100 King cakes this Mardi Gras season
- The 'Euphoria' finale has fans sharing their 'Cassie' horror stories: 'It took years to heal'
- Some women are sick of being harassed at gyms. Are women's-only gyms fixing the problem?
- Afraid of the dark? More Americans are now. Here's why.
- Hugh Hefner, Jerry Lewis and the complications of talking about people after they die
- Kanye West's behavior is 'triggering' for those who have been in Kim Kardashian's shoes
Today's pet
Say hello to Jake.
The first time we met Jake, he was sitting on top of a box. Now, he's upgraded to being inside one! "He wants to go on a trip!" writes Karen Bovard.
Thanks to everyone for reading! Remember you can send pet photos, coping tips and anything else to our email.
Wishing you all the best,
Sara Moniuszko