Keeping it Together: Jeffrey Epstein and one survivor's untold story

Lisa Phillips wanted to be a famous model.

But despite her impressive resume, she says she was turned down by a prestigious modeling agency upon moving to New York in her early 20s. She didn't know how to take her career to the next level. She didn't know if her dream would ever come true.

Then, she met Jeffrey Epstein.

Hello. I'm Charlie, and I'm a wellness reporter here at Paste BN. This week, I interviewed Phillips, who hasn't spoken at length publicly about what Epstein did to her and the impact of his abuse − until now.

Phillips' story is complex. She describes Epstein as her abuser, but also her mentor. He assaulted and manipulated her, but he also championed her career. She cried when he died in 2019, even though she hated him.

She believes her story shines a light on the complicated nature of abuse, explaining it took her a long time to come to terms with that aspect of her history with Epstein, which experts say is not uncommon; victims can, and often do, continue to think positively of their predators even as they are being groomed and abused.

"I have this confusing thing a lot of women do, because he helped us in a lot of ways," Phillips says. "But I just didn't confront the abuse part of it until I started meeting other victims and then realizing that the stories that I had were very similar to theirs."

Read Phillips' story here, and check out other great reads below.