Keeping it Together: The polyamory and pregnancy conversation

Ashley Hefley didn't have a second baby on her 2023 bingo card. She and her husband hadn't planned on expanding their family – they already had one child together – but that May, fate drew up other plans. She took a test "just in case" a few days after missing her period. It quickly turned positive.

What else wasn't on her bingo card? A third baby right around the same time. No, Hefley wasn't having twins. She and her husband were also in a relationship with another woman, Anna. The polyamorous throuple found out Anna was pregnant, too, a few months later.

"Don't worry, he's getting a vasectomy," Hefley, 29, joked over a recent phone call. She's laughing now, but wasn't then. Two women with morning sickness. Pregnancy brain. Exhaustion. But also a rare, cool opportunity.

Hi, my name is David Oliver, one of Paste BN's wellness reporters. And this week I published a piece looking at polyamory and pregnancy.

Hefley's story is one of many. Polyamorous relationships, while not new, have become more prominent and commonplace in the last several years. As these relationships flourish, and years pass, babies are becoming part of the equation. The reality is that having a child is the start of a life-changing journey that requires crystal clear communication from all parties involved – no matter your relationship structure. And many in the polyamorous community want people to know that pregnancy does not suddenly disqualify someone from being ethically non-monogamous.

To read more, check out the rest here. And also enjoy some great other reads from the team below.