Keeping it Together: What does 'avoidant discard' mean?

Your romantic life couldn't be better. You and your partner can't stop texting, going on dates, gushing about each other so much that your friends want to muzzle you. Then, it happens.

Your partner abruptly retreats. They close off emotionally. They stop returning your calls and texts. What gives?

Hi, my name is David Oliver and I'm one of Paste BN's wellness reporters. If you've spent time on TikTok, you've likely seen the term "avoidant discard" to describe this phenomenon. While therapists caution this is not a mental health condition based in science, "it seems to describe what happens when someone with an avoidant attachment style pulls away," explains Luis Cornejo, licensed marriage and family therapist. It's not to be confused with ghosting, where you disappear without a word, but "it’s when someone struggles with closeness or emotional intimacy and distances themselves in ways that feel confusing or hurtful."

Actually, Kevin Chapman, founder and director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, likens avoidant discard "a more intimate level" of ghosting.

For more on this term, click here. And check out some other great work from our team below.