Why I wrote about the dark cloud hanging over my gay marriage
To be honest, when forecasters began saying the Supreme Court's willingness to overturn abortion rights might be bad news for gay marriage as well, I was skeptical.
Even though I grew up surrounded by vocal opponents of same-sex marriage and even though I have heard the anti-LGBTQ political rumblings all along, I thought surely my right to marry the man I love was safe. Surely such a popular precedent couldn't be in peril. Surely a storied institution like the Supreme Court wouldn't be so fickle.
Then the court's new conservative majority followed through on its abortion decision, and Justice Clarence Thomas went out of his way to comment in unambiguous terms about his druthers. Same-sex marriage, he said, should be back on the debate table. And now it is.
I decided to write about this because it's surreal to see Congress once again debating whether my husband and I should have the right to be married. It pains me to see the impact this is having on the typically unflappable man I love. This isn't some academic political discussion. We feel this dark cloud's shadow.
Here's a preview of my column.
- Steven Porter
We told our wedding guests about gay marriage inequality. We thought it was in the past.
As our guests gathered at the hillside arbor gate, I squinted out the window from our dressing room and strained to hear any sign that the ceremony had begun. I realized in that uncomfortable quiet we probably should have asked the wedding coordinator to let us know when to enter. Oops.
As my already-tense nerves tightened, I turned to the man I was marrying and saw that he was in even worse shape than I was. He assured me he wasn’t getting cold feet, just feeling the breath-shortening rush that comes with such a big moment. Still, I worried he might pass out.
So I grabbed his hands and looked him square in the eyes to express again in private the love and commitment we were about to affirm publicly with our family and friends. When we saw our guests turn toward us, I assumed it was go-time and opened the door. We walked briskly down the aisle hand in hand.
We were actually already married at that point. We had gotten the paperwork out of the way at city hall near our home in New Hampshire, making us lawfully wedded husbands a week before we traveled to Missouri for the ceremony and reception. That was in 2019.
It’s mind-boggling now to think about how our decision to tie the knot in New Hampshire rather than Missouri might matter for the future legal status of our union. (READ MORE)
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