Paste BN Opinion newsletter: We all know who the candidates are

We are at the annoying part of the 2024 election where we have to pretend that we don't already know who the candidates are going to be. Michigan was the latest state to go through the motion and fabricated angst over who would win that primary.  

Social media was all spun up with the Associated Press called the races for Donald Trump and Joe Biden, without really mentioning those races were called as soon as the ballots closed. It was never in doubt.  

So why all the franticness over it? This is what Paste BN Columnist Rex Huppke wants to know.