Staying Apart, Together: Your emotions are valid, even in a pandemic.
Editor's note: This newsletter was written before the news of "Black Panther" star Chadwick Boseman's death at 43 after a battle with cancer. We're shocked and devastated just like you. Here is our appreciation of the actor, who touched so many people's lives with his films and his kindness. We hope the rest of the newsletter can help lift your spirits at the end of a tough week.
My best friend moved to Germany in the summer of 2019. There are a lot of times I wish I'd gone with her.
Our experiences during the pandemic have been wildly different, as the outbreak in Europe has taken a different path than here in the United States. Coronavirus surely has touched her, but the grass-is-always-greener part of my brain is convinced life has been easier abroad.
On Friday, she texted me to tell me that a replacement honeymoon she and her husband had scheduled had to be canceled again because of new travel advisories. She felt guilty for even mentioning her sadness, considering how lucky she has been compared to her friends and family who couldn't even dream of taking a vacation right now.
I did what a good friend always does: I reminded her that her emotions are valid. The struggles and tragedies of others don't mean we can't feel sadness and anger about our own. We all have to do what we can to get through this time, and help others when we have the capacity to do so. Sometimes that means having a bit of a wallow over the latest experience we've missed.
If we don't, that means waking up to the pandemic news of tomorrow that much more difficult. So, remember to take the time you need.
Today's coronavirus-era dating advice
While virtual weddings and the lockdown lives of couples with children have dominated a lot of the headlines so far during the pandemic, another group is adapting to life during COVID-19: Singles.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and dating has not been canceled for all of 2020. Trends on dating apps show renewed interest in meeting a potential partner, but certainly things are different than they were just six months ago.
My colleague Erin Jensen wrote about how people are dating right now.
About five months into the coronavirus era, understanding the health crisis has lasted beyond a spring fling or even summer romance, some singles are showing signs they're ready to date. ...
But that doesn't mean dating is back to normal.
Inquiring "Have you been tested?" is likely to be about a COVID-19 test rather than sexually transmitted diseases. Video chats continue to gain legitimacy, with 37% of users on Hinge saying they'd exclusively date someone they'd only met virtually. Health-conscious singles who decide to meet in person are tasked with asking dates – who might be total strangers – detailed questions about their lives in to determine the risk of exposure.
Erin spoke with three singles about their experience navigating this unique dating world. Serena Kerrigan, 26, says there's less pressure on a video date because you're in the comfort of your home, wearing your choice of attire.
"You can have multiple dates in one night," she says. "You’re not paying for anything, they’re not paying for anything… There’s no expectation about kissing or sex."
Another single had to ask her casual romantic partner some big questions early on, because health protocols demanded it.
"Very early on I was, like 'Hey for safety reasons, are you dating other people?'" recalls Maya Murillo, 27. "And that’s for safety, that's not just like jealousy or anything. At that point, I'm like, 'because I'm not trying to date you if you're exposing yourself to all these different things.'"
See the full story here. And if you're single let us know, are you dating or even considering dating? Email stayingaparttogether@usatoday.com with your full name, where you live and your story, and I may share it in a future newsletter.
Today's reads
- We reported live from Friday's march on Washington which was held in protest of racial inequality and police violence. Here's one of the voices we heard: "I have two Black sons and seeing their parent out here trying to make a difference ... to see them growing up asking why this is happening and I have to explain all the way back to when we were kidnapped," said marcher Kendra Butler, 49, of Arlington, Texas.
- From Paste BN Sports columnist Nancy Armour: When the Milwaukee Bucks declined the take the floor for their NBA playoff game after the police shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha, they became a part of history.
- More of a watch than a read, but our latest video in our Humankind series features a group of amazing trans women who are helping their sisters through the pandemic and showing "someone somewhere loves them."
- Some indoor movie theaters are reopening, but if you are wary of them and want to try seeing some of the new movies that are finally coming out, we break down the pros and cons of going to a drive-in instead.
- An ode to water sports from Carly Mallenbaum, the queen of quarantine hobbies.
Today's TV recommendations
For reader Beth Parisi
Which streaming services do you have?
Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime
"Ozark," "The Sinner," "Top of the Lake," "The Last Man on Earth," "The Mindy Project," "New Girl", "The Beautiful Lie," "The Handmaid's Tale," "Peaky Blinders," "Dirty John," "Nurse Jackie," "Weeds," "Gilmore Girls," "The Good Place," "Dead to Me," "Atypical," "You" and "In the Dark"
What's your favorite TV show (or shows) of all time?
"The Office"
You should watch...
If you love "The Office," I'll re-recommend one of my picks from Tuesday's newsletter, "Upload" on Amazon, from "Office" creator Greg Daniels. Also "Parks and Recreation" (Hulu, Netflix, Amazon), "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" (Hulu) and "Superstore" (Hulu) are great workplace sitcoms that might fill the "Office" place in your heart. "Orange is the New Black" (Netflix) is from "Weeds" creator Jenji Kohan, and offers a slew of female antiheroes (and plenty of straight up heroes and villains), and has vibes similar to "Nurse Jackie" and "Dead To Me." For a crime drama, try Netflix's "Unbelievable," an stunningly good miniseries from 2019 starring Merritt Wever (everyone's "Jackie" fave), Toni Collette and Kaitlyn Dever. It's a dramatization of a real case in which police didn't believe one young girl's account of her rape, and the perpetrator went on to assault more women.
Today's pet
Susan Ryan in DeLand, Florida writes, This is "our adopted stray Larry. With months of his humans staying at home, Larry's had a lot of opportunities to beg for treats. We're thinking it might be time to go back to work – for Larry's sake!"
Larry, you have those humans right where you want them, don't you?
That's it for this Saturday but just a quick reminder to send pet pics, TV recommendation requests and coping tips to our new newsletter email address, stayingaparttogether@usatoday.com. I know there are more cute furry friends for us to all gush over, more TV shows you need me to suggest and more coping tips for us to share! Don't be shy, send in your stuff with your full name and location. I absolutely love hearing from you.
Stay safe, stay well, and I'll be back to your inboxes on Tuesday afternoon.
All my very best,
Kelly Lawler