Staying Apart, Together: How to make Valentine's Day work for you this year
It's Valentine's Day on Sunday, and a perfectly reasonable reaction to the day of chocolates and hearts this year is: "so what?"
Certainly the pandemic has taught us to adapt to celebrating significant holidays without our usual traditions, but when it comes to kitschy, performative holidays like Valentine's, I'm OK giving a shrug. It was never my thing out of quarantine, so all the more reason to ignore it at home.
But others may have the opposite reaction. I know couples who never acknowledge Valentine's who have gotten each other small gifts this year, holding onto any excuse to celebrate. I know single people who have treated themselves.
So I encourage you to make Valentine's Day whatever you want it to be this year. If that's candy, roses and a screening of "Love Story," more power to you. If you are struggling with loneliness and need time to heal, or time to reach out to those you can virtually, I hope you can do that. If you want to have a typical Sunday, that's fine too. I'll be celebrating a family birthday this weekend, taking a virtual cooking class and watching movies.
Of course this weekend isn't only Valentine's. Friday marked the start of the Lunar New Year, also known as the Chinese New Year or Spring Festival. Like so many holidays centered around gathering with friends and family, it will be hard for those who celebrate. I'm wishing you all the best, and would love to hear from you about your virtual or socially distant celebrations.
Today's mailbag
It was, as usual, so wonderful to hear from you this week.
Here a few notes I received:
Deana Sun has been struggling in the colder weather, and I have to say I really agree: "I was doing pretty well before the cold weather set in. .... The problem is I sit down in my home office to work and sometimes don’t get up for hours other than to get more water or go to the bathroom. Not much exercise there, so what works best for me is a schedule.
Just before starting a task I decide how long I want to work on it and set a time. That’s when I take a short break – 10 to 15 minutes and that includes getting more water and bathroom, plus time on the bike or elliptical. If I need to think through a problem or read documents, I get on the elliptical or bike, respectively. Again, I set a timer…usually 30 minutes. By changing up what I am doing both physically and mentally, my mind does not grow numb or bored."
Short but valid point from Ken Karsmizki: "My hope/plan is to wake up tomorrow!"
From Christine Nelson in St. Paul, Minnesota: Here I am, in the middle of a Minnesota February with heating specialists installing a new furnace in my basement while I huddle around a space heater trying to complete my to-do list. It was enough to send me over the edge when the furnace decided to give out after just 17 years. How rude. But everything these days seems to have a heightened sense of drama. Our feeble neurons weren’t meant for persistent stress and change. We can’t keep running from these mental lions forever. Something has to give, and usually it’s our temper when the cat throws up or the pizza we ordered is upside down in the box or the furnace rattles and seizes into silence.
Silence. It’s what I crave and also what I fear. I’ve been around my husband and children and pets far too much, but I would be lost without them. I’ve heard about my mother’s latest puzzle and dinner choices by phone more times than I can count, but she’s alive and dreaming of travel. I have joined a video conference on every possible platform — dammit I’m a writer, not an A/V specialist — but I wouldn’t get paid without technology.
So here’s the deal. If there is any order to our human chaos of the moment, it is the ability to find the blessing in the curse and face the curse in the blessing. At least my furnace didn’t die this weekend when my husband is in North Dakota ice fishing (over Valentine’s Day). At least I have a space heater or two. At least my family is healthy and suitably annoying. At least I can pay for the furnace – eventually – by joining video conferences and completing my to-do list. This is how I stay motivated through a pandemic. I am alive. Therefore I live.
And finally from Mary Prescott in Florida, complete with a beautiful piece of art: I am a full time artist, in a small coastal community in Florida. I use reclaimed glass to create mosaics. I totally stalled over the summer. Festivals were gone, retail was suffering and the economic downturn didn't help. My work was still selling, kind of, in the couple of retail outlets. But the designs were the " common" ones. New ideas just weren't there.
Much of my glass comes from old dump sites on the Island. Weird I know, that's a story in itself. Anyway to break my funk, I decided 2 things. To make a visit to one of the sites even though I had lots of prepped glass in my studio. I know finding just that one piece might inspire my creativity. The second challenge to myself was a new design...
My point in all this, we all have a creative side, even if it's stick figures. Sometimes we just have to go back to the original stuff we love.
Keep sending me notes at stayingaparttogether@usatoday.com. I love reading them.
Today's reads
- Send a virtual, COVID-safe Valentine with these digital cards from the Paste BN graphics department.
- Why do we give red roses on Valentine's Day? Let us count the ways.
- From my colleague Brian Truitt, a ranking of Nicholas Cage's wildest performances. I love "Face/Off," personally.
- These 10 kids books celebrate Black History Month.
- Many of us have been relying on therapists and other mental health providers during the pandemic. We spoke to those providers about how they're doing.
- Did everyone see the lawyer who accidentally Zoomed into court as a cat? If you want to also reassure your colleagues you are "not a cat" behind whiskers, here is how you can get the same filter.
Today's pet
This looks comfortable.
"Here’s a picture of my bulldog puppy, Stella," says Veronica Dykas, of Gig Harbor, Washington. "She is hanging out in the kitchen with me. Her favorite place to be!"
That is the face of a dog who would just be so, so happy if you dropped a piece of chicken next time you're cooking dinner.
That's all for this Saturday. I hope you all can have a happy Valentine's day no matter your current relationship status. Don't forget you can send pet pictures, coping tips, newsletter feedback and your TV watching thoughts to stayingaparttogether@usatoday.com. Stay safe, stay well.
All my very best,
Kelly Lawler