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I don't like Valentine's Day – but not because I'm single

Nicole Russell   Paste BN

I’m a bit of a sappy romantic – 19th century British Literature was my favorite genre in college. But I don’t get the hype around Valentine’s Day.

I seem to be an outlier. Americans have spent a record $27.5 billion on the holiday, purchasing candy, flowers, jewelry and more. 

My lack of fondness for Valentine’s Day isn’t because I dislike the idea of love. (Or because I’m single!) To me, it seems like a manufactured day in which men and women feel compelled to spend their money on trivial things to show they love someone. 

Valentine’s Day is also almost exclusively focused on romantic love, but don’t tell my kids. They’re hoping for candy hearts and chocolates.  

I understand some of this. I’ve been in love many times, and there really is nothing like that dopamine hit that signals infatuation and passion.  

But as an adult, I’ve embraced the fact that love takes many forms, is shown in many ways and is certainly not reserved only for romance or sexual interest.  

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The longer I’ve been a parent the more I appreciate the love I have for my own parents and their unwavering love for me, even when I’ve disappointed them.  

The older I get, the more I appreciate the love I have for girlfriends, a love with such emotional depth that it’s hard to imagine a man matching it in a romantic context.  

The more I’ve poured myself into being a mom, the more I am humbled by the love I have for my children. It is probably the purest form of love I have known.  

True love isn’t chocolate and poetry. True love can look like late nights by a hospital bed, helping a friend move, innumerable phone calls and texts or a meal on the doorstep. 

“I love you” is a powerful phrase. But for a lot of people “I like you,” “I’m proud of you” and “I appreciate you,” feel a lot like love too. 

Even our political climate exposes our ideas about love, friendship and romance. As political tensions have grown and we’ve divided over controversial topics, it’s been fascinating to observe how many Americans question if they can love (or even like) a neighbor, coworker or friend who doesn’t share their political ideas.

I think we will see that reality unfold throughout the year, well past Valentine’s Day. Maybe I should stock up on candy hearts?   

I’m interested to know: Does Valentine’s Day represent more than romantic love to you? Has politics ever come between you and someone you love? Reach out, nrussell@gannett.com.

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