Love shouldn't hurt: Column

As we head for the home stretch in the midterm elections, many politicians — Democrats and Republicans alike — are using the media to hyper-politicize the recent spotlight on domestic violence. Instead of convening a constructive conversation on how to further diminish violence against women, adopting policies and offering solutions, elected officials and candidates are using it to hurt each other, aid their own campaigns, or both.

Where is the actual progress?

Last month, my life changed forever when I was crowned Miss America 2015. That crowning came with a great deal of celebration and also a great deal of controversy. And as I look forward to my year of service, I look back to the many things that shaped me into the woman that I am today and helped me develop my platform: love shouldn't hurt.

According to Safe Horizon, the largest victims' services agency in the United States, one in four women in the U.S. will be a victim of domestic violence during her lifetime. And each year, more than three million children witness domestic violence in their homes. Aside from the psychological trauma that might cause, there is the additional problem that some may come to believe it is acceptable.

Recent events have highlighted the failings of celebrities and athletes in their personal lives; and brought to light cycles of violence that families, societies and subcultures have experienced for generations. We know that no race or gender or age or income group is immune from domestic violence. And, unfortunately, because of lax laws and even more lax enforcement, the justice system often drives the getaway car for abusers.

Recognizing the inability or unwillingness of the judicial system to punish abusers and keep the abused safe, many victims are forced into silence. Too often, a woman who shares her story hoping for aid and compassion is instead met with fierce victim-blaming and doubt. Every woman is an expert in her own life, and every woman should know that she will receive support from her community during challenging times.

As a young adult, I was victim not only to the abuse in a relationship, but also to the abuse of people who I thought were my friends. In hindsight, my involvement in sorority hazing — however minor it seemed at the time — speaks to how pervasive the practice of violence is and how easily we accept it as the norm. With time to reflect on this experience, I realize it was wrong, regret my involvement and am deeply sorry to all those my actions affected.

Since these events, I have vowed personally to do better; and now I believe, as a nation, and as a global community, we all must do better.

With the recent news about domestic abuse — in homes, on college campuses, in public spaces and in our armed forces — I believe our nation is facing an extraordinary moment of consequence: We can either continue to turn a blind eye to the violence in homes all around us or we can rise up and say enough is enough.

I will work to equip victims with the resources, education and the protection they need to be strong and keep themselves safe. I will teach young women — and men — that violence is not OK, while also teaching them that if they choose to walk away from an abusive relationship, they will not weather the journey alone. I will advocate for tougher anti-domestic violence laws and work to ensure law enforcement has the tools and funds they need to bring abusers to justice.

And most importantly, I will work to empower those who live in fear to speak out about, and report, their abuse and take the power away from abusers.

It is my sincere hope that others will join me.

Government leaders, charitable organizations, teachers, parents, friends — everyone can be a part of ending the vicious cycle of domestic violence, and on an even grander scale: violence against women. I urge our elected officials to end the partisanship that divides them and come together to find meaningful solutions to move us forward as a society.

There is no reason why one more person should suffer the physical pain and endure the emotional scars of abuse. Let's put a stop to violence against and oppression of women; because love should never hurt.

Connect with Kira Kazantsev on Twitter @MissAmerica and join the #VOWtoEndIt campaign.

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