What our anniversary means for big business and the Supreme Court: Column

We met on the dance floor in Ibiza, one of the Balearic Islands off the coast of Spain, both of us in our early 20s. I had just graduated university in my native England and, much to my parents' dismay, had turned down a job offer from Citibank to spend the summer working as a local tour guide in this Mediterranean beach resort, but more importantly to try to find myself. It was June of 1995 but I remember it as if it were yesterday. He came up to me, we introduced ourselves, and then he said, "Oh, you speak very good English." I replied, "That's because I'm English." He was strikingly handsome, but there was something more to it than that. We spent the next four days together. Then he moved on to the next stop on his summer itinerary and I returned to my tour business duties, but I could not get him out of my head. In September, we reunited in London and soon moved in together. Our parents came around and adjusted pretty quickly.

I had not only found myself that summer — I had found my soul mate.

Back in London, we were ready to focus on our careers. We both got jobs in the travel and hospitality business. The pay is generally less than in banking, but the industry draws people who love life and who are excited about adventure; people who enjoy exploring new cultures and who are excited about working with diverse colleagues. That appealed to both of us. We like to travel. And we were outsiders then. We knew we needed professional careers at companies where we were welcome. I've had the good fortune to work at two amazing companies — at InterContinental Hotels Group and Starwood Hotels and Resorts Worldwide (my current employer). Both have been totally accepting of me as an individual and of us as a couple.

Two years ago I was offered a promotion and an exciting new assignment in New York. We loved the idea of moving to America and living in the Big Apple. We were able to accept the offer and move here legally as a couple only as a result of two serendipitous and extraordinary public events that shaped our personal lives in a most unpredictable way: New York had passed marriage equality just two years earlier and the Supreme Court had just struck down the Defense of Marriage Act. That meant we could be legally married, and we were, at New York City Hall. The United States recognized our marriage for immigration purposes, which meant my husband could get a visa to work. Starwood relocated us both as a legally-married couple. Our relationship was given the recognition (and dignity) it and we deserve.

I understand from personal experience why companies big and small are standing with marriage equality advocates during arguments later this month before the Supreme Court on whether the United States Constitution guarantees that right in every state. They benefit from laws that promote equality and diversity. If Starwood's corporate headquarters were in Texas, for example, a state that bans our marriage, we could not have relocated there. Companies need to be able to recruit and retain the best talent, which includes the ability to offer equitable and competitive benefits, like, in my case, to relocate not just me but my husband.

Marriage bans and other discriminatory laws also undermine corporate culture. In the hotel business, for example, we want our customers to feel at home — to make our hotels their home away from home. One of the ways we do that is to emphasize that everyone is welcome. Inclusion is at the core of our mission.

We take this issue so seriously at Starwood that we launched our own effort to raise money and awareness for gay rights. Our campaign, on behalf of our W Hotel brand, is called Turn It Up for Change. It's our way of asking our customers to stand with us in supporting marriage equality and opposing anti gay discrimination. Using "brand influence" to take a strong political position is unusual, but for us it's a moral imperative.

Two weeks after moving to New York, my company hosted a big corporate event in Grand Central Station. I brought my "new" husband. He met my new boss and his wife and my new colleagues. That night a number of other gay people in attendance said to me, 'It's great you feel comfortable bringing your partner, especially after only two weeks on the job." It's amazing that such a simple act can still be such a huge thing for a gay couple. Then I realized how lucky we have been. We have found acceptance from our families, at work, and now where we live — recognized as fully-equal by government and our professional community.

Relationships are hard and ours has not been perfect. But this summer, at right about the time the Supreme Court is expected to rule on whether gays and lesbians in all 50 states should be permitted to marry the person they love, we will celebrate our 20th anniversary together. People should remember that above all, this is about love and commitment. We look forward to celebrating marriage equality for everyone.That's our anniversary wish for America.

Anthony Ingham is vice president, Luxury and Design Brands (North America) at Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide.

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