Do you often complain about the state of our country? Here's how to change it. | Opinion
If you've been complaining about the state of our country, we dare you to make your commitment to others as big as your complaints. That's how change begins.
From headlines to social posts, it’s easy to think our nation is coming apart at the seams. We are divided along so many lines – not just red and blue, but urban and rural, White, Black and Brown, young and old, longtime citizen and new arrival, straight, queer and trans, college-educated or not. Yet behind the noise, a quiet American revolution is taking root. Across the country, Americans are showing up for their neighbors – whether they are alike or not.
In a small Appalachian town, LB Prevette was beaten and left in the woods as a teen because she was gay. She left her hometown for Nevada to find her people, only to realize her true community was still back in North Carolina. If everyone who is different leaves, she wondered, how will people learn to see beyond their differences? Today, she co-owns a popular and welcoming bar on Main Street where people of varying beliefs, identities and backgrounds gather to share drinks and stories and find community.
There’s a quiet revolution happening in public libraries. For Shamichael Hallman, the library was one of the first places where he met people from different walks of life – across faiths, neighborhoods and income levels. Years later, he helped lead a multimillion dollar renovation of Memphis’ oldest library, transforming it into a vibrant community hub. Today, it’s a place where people aren’t hushed upon entry – they gather in the café, at dance performances, in podcast studios and in honest conversations guided by a diverse staff.
This spirit is rising in workplaces, as well, where coworkers who feel isolated or divided are showing up for each other. Staff at the 92nd Street Y (92NY) in New York City were in need of space to reflect in the lead-up to the last election. They launched a program called "Share Our 92NY" as part of their existing "Share Our America" initiative to get to know each other in conversations that were personal rather than political. The result was a greater sense of belonging, purpose and connection at work.
In today’s environment, these quiet actions are revolutionary. They rebel against a culture that tells us to strive for ourselves instead of treasuring relationships and the community. They defy the social algorithms that reward attacking others and promoting ourselves. They refuse to divide the world into “friends” who think like us and “enemies” who don’t. And they embrace local action over national outrage.
How do you break the cycle of loneliness? Start with trust.
At a time when national politics are bitter, families and workplaces are divided, and former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy warns of a loneliness epidemic affecting half of American adults ‒ and two-thirds of Generation Z ‒ we are finding hope.
As leaders of organizations dedicated to healing our frayed social fabric, we see a shift happening in cities and towns, on the coasts and in the middle of the country. People are showing up where they live and taking simple actions to solve issues, cement bonds and build trust.
We find hope in the thousands of people signing up and lighting up our nation on the Social Trust Map from the Aspen Institute’s Weave: The Social Fabric Project. In those who have explored stories of people creating connection, like those of LB and Shamichael, in cities from Baltimore and Milwaukee to Chicago and Los Angeles, and in small towns like Taylor, Nebraska, and Washougal, Washington.
The map shows the strength of trusting behaviors, trusting intentions and trusting spaces in every neighborhood in the United States, so people can build off those strengths to foster connection and trust with neighbors. They use resources from the Share Our America Toolkit, created by the Belfer Center for Innovation and Social Impact, to find simple actions they can take ‒ from hosting a block party to starting a conversation at work.
Rainn Wilson, the actor and author, reminds us in his book "Soul Boom" that the many problems facing our nation and the world are not essentially political. They are cultural and spiritual. When we live competitively, striving for ourselves and demonizing those who disagree with us, we cut ourselves off from the joy we find in community and in friendships with those who are different.
Americans want to connect with people different from them
In a recent survey, 56% of Americans said they want to connect with people who are different from them. Two-thirds believe they can learn something valuable from those interactions. When we pull away from each other, we miss out on the security we feel when we build a community where everyone thrives and has what they need. We lose the pride and belonging that comes with solving problems together.
America has a long history of people coming together in mutual care and support. From Benjamin Franklin’s creation of the first volunteer fire department in 1736 to Clara Barton’s founding of the American Red Cross in 1881, our history is built on this foundation. 92NY was founded in the 1870s and is one of many institutions ‒ like social clubs, business cooperatives, service groups and modern mutual aid societies ‒ that have given America the label of “a nation of joiners.”
With Share Our America and Weave, we’re working to move this quiet American revolution out of the shadows. On June 11, we’re convening Share Our America: The Summit, a streaming event spotlighting the grassroots people weaving us together again and thought leaders like Rainn Wilson, New York Times columnist David Brooks and "Dirty Jobs" host Mike Rowe.
So join the revolution. Say hello to someone you see often but don’t know. You’ll both feel better for it. Invite a neighbor for coffee or tea. You’ll find shared interests you would have never guessed. Join a group or give your time to a nonprofit building relationships and trust where you live. Simple actions can make our country strong.
If you have been complaining about the state of our country, we dare you to make your commitment to others as big as your complaints. That’s how change begins. Quietly. And together.
Frederick J. Riley is the executive director of Weave: The Social Fabric Project at The Aspen Institute. Rebekah Shrestha is the executive director of the Belfer Center for Innovation & Social Impact at the 92nd Street Y New York. Paste BN's parent company, Gannett, is the exclusive media sponsor of Share Our America: The Summit.