From a suburban mom to fellow Democrats: We're good teammates. Take us seriously.
A few weeks ago at my daughter’s soccer game, one of the players sat out a majority of the match. They were losing badly, and she sat on the sidelines telling her teammates how awful the team is. After the game, my daughter buried her head in my chest and cried because she felt she was the reason her team lost. Ellie joined the team to contribute but she’s new and she felt the burden of not matching up even though she works hard in every practice and game.
This is sometimes how I feel as a new-ish member of the Democratic Party.
The 2020 election was my first on Team Democrat. I formally joined the democratic team after having my family drawn into then-President Trump’s Ukraine scandal. I was all in. I appeared in a political ad warning people of what can happen when an unprincipled politician leverages power to come after your family. I shared our story in many media interviews, I sent postcards imploring people to vote, I made countless phone calls to voters and told them how to vote early or find their local precinct. Even my sartorial choice of a bright blue blazer for my biggest media interview showcased my loyalty. I wasn’t the MVP of the election, nor did I desire to be, but I sincerely wanted to be a good team member. I think I was but that has not stopped some from questioning the longevity of my dedication, criticizing me for being a late-comer, and deliberating over whether I can pass the progressive “purity” tests (spoiler alert: I likely cannot).
Are we trusted?
Many voters who had identified as Democrats prior to 2016 defected to Trump. They were attracted to his candor and apolitical background, and this was especially true for those who had negative views on immigration and identified as racially conservative. At the same time Trump’s views were attracting new demographics, they were repelling others. By the 2018 midterm elections, when Democrats won control of the House of Representatives, it was clear many suburban voters rejected Trump’s rhetoric, prompting Sen. Lindsay Graham to trade his MAGA hat for his Captain Obvious hat and say, “We’ve got to address the suburban women problem, because it’s real.”
So why does it sometimes seem as if the Democrats also have a so-called suburban women problem? Are we trusted? Are our voices heard and respected?
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The results of this month’s election suggest they are not. There are a variety of reasons, such as not acknowledging the concerns of parents and making sure all communities knew how they would benefit from Democratic candidates, that need to be thoroughly examined because the reality is the twice-impeached former president is so emboldened by the results that he is poised to announce his candidacy for 2024. Since he lost the popular vote in two consecutive elections and Virginia by ten points, I do not believe this is what a majority of people want but, as the saying goes, elections have consequences.
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As a military spouse I lived in many different places – eleven houses in four US states, the District of Columbia, and three foreign countries – but I always tried to jump in and be a good member of each community I lived in. If the Democrats want to be the big-tent party they need to open up all the sides and bring people in. What I and others don’t have in terms of in terms of time spent on your side, I think we more than make up for in commitment to the cause.
We are here now and we are willing to work. As is the case with many, I identify as a one-issue voter at this time: When I look at a ballot, the only thing I see is a choice between democracy and a slide toward authoritarianism.
One team, one fight
Too often when a former Republican/future former Republican/Never Trumper says something objectionable to a Democrat, their loyalty is immediately questioned. Many of these people have stories similar to my family’s: they lost jobs, family, and close friends because they made the decision to put their loyalty to country over loyalty to a party with a morally corrupt leader. They are loyal to Democracy and willing to put in the time and effort to defeat Trumpism. More importantly, if we are going to win we need their votes.
And to my fellow new Democrats, let’s be good teammates!
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I am happy to report that the following week’s soccer game resulted in the team’s first – and only – victory of the season. They put the negativity aside and came together on a cold and rainy night to win.
One team, one fight. If you have been in the tent fifty years of five minutes, I consider you a valued teammate.
Rachel Vindman is a wife, mom, writer, activist and host of "The Suburban Women Problem" podcast. She is a member of the Paste BN Board of Contributors. Follow her on Twitter: @natsechobbyist