A 'gay' dog got dumped at a shelter. I wish that were the most troubling LGBTQ news.
Are people who abhor the thought of a gay dog any different from those pushing back so hard against LGBTQ people these days?
My heart broke recently when I read about a sweet dog named Fezco who had been unceremoniously ditched at a shelter here in North Carolina. His offense? According to shelter officials, the adorable brown and black mix was abandoned after his owners saw him "humping another male pooch and feared he might be gay.”
Seriously, a gay dog? I know my own pup humps males and females alike and he’s never made national headlines, as Fezco did. As veterinarian Michelle Droke told me, humping is not an indication of sexual orientation. "Some dogs will do it as a show of dominance," she said. "Someone who returns a dog to a shelter for being 'gay' is just misinformed and terribly homophobic."
Duh.
I would dismiss all this as a shaggy-dog story if it weren’t so telling about the times we live in. After all, are people who abhor the thought of a gay dog any different from those pushing back so hard against LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning and/or queer) people these days? Across the nation legislators are seeking to ban transgender youths from the bathrooms and sports teams that match their gender identities; clinging to invalidated laws that would roll back marriage equality for same-sex couples; and stifling classroom discussions, lesson plans and library books that mention LGBTQ issues.
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What is everyone so worried about?
Alas, I'm not being rhetorical. Republicans in statehouses across the country are pushing a historic wave of new bills targeting LGBTQ kids and teens. Nearly 240 anti-LGBTQ bills had been proposed in the first months of this year, according to an NBC News report published in March. That skyrocketed from 41 in all of 2018. Half of those bills target transgender people, but the other half are broader efforts against all LGBTQ folks.
Evan Wolfson, founder of Freedom to Marry, told me via email: "There are real threats to our democracy, and to Americans' reproductive freedom; rights to participate in schools, the marketplace … without discrimination, and yes, freedom to marry the person you love."
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This is a slow-motion disaster taking place right in front of us. Why are so few people seeing it?
Watch what happens with abortion
Those who watched the highly charged questioning of Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson witnessed a direct affront to the 2015 Supreme Court ruling that recognized same-sex couples' constitutional right to marry. GOP Sen. John Cornyn of Texas took the lead, arguing that the Obergefell v. Hodges decision had "articulated a new fundamental right, which is a right to same-sex marriage."
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At first glance it may appear to be just grandstanding Republican senators playing to their base (you know, there's a national election this fall). Some are dismissing the idea that there is a cohesive legal strategy aimed at overturning Obergefell. "We couldn't possibly lose our right to marry," one friend told me. But remember when we thought Roe v. Wade was established law? Now abortion rights are an open question before the court. Witness what Cornyn said to Jackson: "The Constitution doesn’t mention the word 'abortion' ... just like it doesn't mention the word 'marriage.'" Clearly both abortion and marriage are now back on the block.
How could that be? A majority of Americans support a woman's right to choose whether to have an abortion, and 70% now support same-sex marriage, including 55% of Republicans. Why are we allowing bigotry and ignorance to drive judicial decisions instead of the will of "we the people"?
Uncertainty I never expected to face
Growing up I never imagined I'd be able to marry a man, but I did just that in California in 2013. Obergefell made that right nationwide two years later, and I never imagined it could be taken away. But I'm starting to worry – and so should the half million married same-sex couples in the United States. And their families.
I’m not the only one alarmed about this. When Melissa Murray, a New York University law professor and co-host of the "Strict Scrutiny" podcast about the Supreme Court, was asked about threats to LGBTQ rights in a recent interview, she responded: "We have to think about this not as a binary, like an on-and-off switch, but that this is a long process ... it is a process that is very, very possible to happen in these very incremental steps."
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Looking for hope, I return to the story of Fezco, who was quickly adopted by a gay couple and rechristened Oscar (as in Wilde, the late gay poet). Steve Nichols, one of the new dog dads, said in an interview, "We’ve been subject to that kind of bigotry and ignorance throughout our lives together, and we couldn't always do anything about it. We looked at each other and said, we can do something about this."
The question before the rest of us is this: What can we do about this new wave of bigotry and ignorance? The first step is to recognize what's right before our eyes. And, then, if you believe in kindness, compassion and fairness – for four-leggeds as well as two-leggeds – speak up and speak out.
Steven Petrow, a writer on civility and manners and a member of Paste BN's Board of Contributors, is the author of five etiquette books, including "Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old." Follow him on Twitter: @stevenpetrow