Kevin McCarthy averts a shutdown. Welcome to the Democratic Party and actual governing!

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Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, in a rare moment of adultness, partnered with House Democrats to keep the government open over the weekend, despite rabid howling from the burn-it-all-down members of his party. To show gratitude, I suggest congressional Democrats send McCarthy the following invitation:

Hi Kevin! First off, big thanks for working with us to keep the government open. You were smart to ignore the MAGA Republicans in your party, and it was SO EXCITING to see you actually govern.

Doesn’t it feel good? It’s like, “Wow, so this is why we’re here. I thought it was all just yelling.”

You did it, Kevin McCarthy! You actually governed!

We know you had many people – including that Donald Trump guy – hollering at you to stand strong and demand sharp spending cuts that would take more from things like housing subsidies for the poor, cancer research and nutrition assistance for pregnant moms. And we know the MAGA gang wanted you to defund the Justice Department and build an 800-foot-tall dragon-protected wall along the border or some such thing.

But what did you do? By golly, Kevin, you sprouted a backbone and did the right thing. You put up a 45-day government funding extension that kept spending right where it is, giving us something we could agree to, and quicker than you can say “Trump will never love you,” we Democrats gave you the votes you needed and a shutdown was averted.

We didn’t get an agreement on Ukraine funding, but that’ll come. It’s almost as if the two political parties in Congress are meant to work together, with each side giving concessions in the name of progress. Weird, right?

GOP is no longer a political party. The Republican debate marked its soul leaving its body.

House Speaker McCarthy chooses to be an adult

As you said after the deal was done, “There has to be an adult in the room. It’s all right that Republicans and Democrats joined to do what is right.”

Look at you, big guy. Talking like someone who actually wants to get things done rather than railing against imaginary conspiracies and faux-grievances. Who’s a good House Speaker? Whooooooo is one?

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In light of your willingness to not let the gears of government grind to a halt and force soldiers and other federal workers to go without pay, and given that you now seem to realize your own party is so broken you can’t get jack accomplished without us, we’d like to extend to you a formal invitation to join the Democratic Party.

We in the Democratic Party welcome you to our ranks, Kevin McCarthy

We know this sounds bold, but we’re taking our cues from you and your explanation for not shutting the government down: “The only answer is shut down and not pay our troops? I don’t want to be a part of that team. I want to be a part of a conservative group that wants to get things done.”

First off, it’s ADORABLE that you used “conservative group” and “get things done” in the same sentence. You’re a riot.

Second, welcome to the team. We realize it might be a hard transition at first, but given that members of your own party plan on trying to vote you out as speaker this week, you’re once again going need us to save your fanny, so we might as well be pals.

Oh, Kevin, it's OK if you tell your friends you're still a Republican

Don’t worry, we know you’re going to have to tell your friends on that side of the aisle things like “I’m not a Democrat, that’s fake news!” and “No, guys, I still want to be mean to immigrants, I’m just doing this Democrat thing as a joke!” But we’ll know the truth, Kevin.

One of us! One of us! One of us!

Your team handbook, “Woke 101,” will be delivered soon. Please start minding your carbon footprint.

Follow Paste BN columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk