As Trump ends DEI programs, here's how to make sure your home is DEI-free! | Opinion
Historically, the words 'diversity' and 'equity' and 'inclusion' have been viewed as good things that align with American values. But when the Marxist liberals combined those words, things got scary.
Hello, fellow patriots. President Donald Trump is focusing much of his administration’s attention on doing away with diversity, equity and inclusion programs in and around the federal government, which is definitely the white move at this stage of his presidency.
The new administration plans to lay off all federal DEI staff and remove all DEI programs from the military while also pressuring corporations to end their diversity programs.
Historically, the words “diversity” and “equity” and “inclusion” have been viewed as good things that align with American values. But when Marxist liberals combined the three words, they became scary to Americans who don't like having to consider other people’s feelings.
If Trump is doing away with DEI in D.C., we should do the same at home
I'm told by my liberal friends, of whom I have none, that DEI programs were intended to encourage companies and federal agencies to make sure they better reflect the diverse country and communities we live in. Boy was that dumb!
Trump wants to fix everything by making sure companies and federal agencies reflect the world Trump lives in, one that is predominantly white and includes a sizable amount of all-American plastic surgery.
While our new president works to scrub DEI out of existence at the highest levels, regular Americans like us need to make sure we’re combatting DEI at home.
To that end, I’ve assembled these handy tips for making sure your home is 100% DEI-free.
Make sure everything in the house looks pretty much the same
Obviously the No. 1 thing we’re trying to avoid here is any kind of diversity, so you’re going to want to homogenize your home.
Make sure your rooms are painted a consistent color, ideally something in the ivory to light beige range. All furniture, art work and knickknacks should be purchased from the same store. Don’t let some lib try to convince you that a diverse array of paint colors and different types of furniture actually creates a smarter, more interesting and well-rounded home. That’s crazy talk!
Don't you dare think variety is the spice of life
It’s important that you don’t forget the pantry. The last thing anyone wants is to have a fellow Trump supporter visit and see that you have shelves filled with a diverse mix of sodas.
It’s either all Sprite or all Ginger Ale. If there’s a bunch of Dr Pepper or Orange Crush or Pepsi in there, it’s going to seem like an equity play. Don’t go there.
And don’t get me started on ambiguous drinks like “Coke Zero.” Are you a Diet Coke or a regular Coke? PICK A PATH, YOU RADICAL SODA!
Exclude your children whenever possible
Children learn from their parents, so it’s vital that you do nothing to make your kids feel included.
For example, if you and your opposite-sex spouse are playing a board game and your children ask if they can play, respond with a loud and assertive: “Absolutely not!”
Letting them play with you would be inclusion, and that would make you a commie leftist.
Remove any household items that might make white people uncomfortable
As I said before, we white people are terrified of DEI, so you’ll need to do a quick sweep of your home to make sure there’s nothing that might upset a fellow heterosexual, ideally male Caucasian.
Things like books that mention slavery, photos or works of art that present diverse groups of people, music or television shows that remind us that LGBTQ+ people exist, any female children, etc.
Without diversity, everything in your home will be ... well, pretty boring
Basically, you want your home to be as monochromatic and uninteresting as possible. Your food and drink choices should be predictable and dull, your interests should align fully with others in your social circle and your décor should scream, “This is the best I can achieve without feeling afraid!”
Only then will you have fulfilled your patriotic obligation to DEI-proof your home, proudly knowing the Trump administration appreciates you.
To celebrate, help yourself to a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread, or a small bowl of vanilla ice cream.
Follow Paste BN columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk