I'm a Catholic who craved spiritual connection. I found it in Pope Francis.
My teenage daughter once asked me why we attended Mass if I didn't believe everything. But my view of the Catholic Church changed with Pope Francis.
My heart aches for a world without Pope Francis.
His death on April 21 at 88 was inevitable, yet it is still shocking and painful for Catholics everywhere.
Francis was the first Latin American pontiff to lead the Vatican. His language and cultural affinity were important, of course, but that wasn’t what touched my heart during his 12-year papacy.
It was Pope Francis’ unwavering devotion to the poor, the sick, the persecuted and the marginalized that gave me hope about humanity. He understood that those are the people around the world who need a voice, who need a helping hand, who need compassion.
God knows we need a lot of that now more than ever.
I felt out of touch with the Catholic Church
I’d never heard of him until March 2013, when he was announced as the 266th pope. He replaced Pope Benedict XVI, whose resignation had stunned the universe but of whom I had no affinity.
Immediately, Jorge Mario Bergoglio – who chose to be called Pope Francis after St. Francis of Assisi – captured my heart, my imagination and my hope for a more progressive church, or at least a church that listened to people’s suffering over the usual politicking of the more than 2,000-year institution.
I’m not the kind of Catholic who follows the Vatican’s commands unquestioned. My daughter noticed as a teenager that I remained silent during our weekly Mass when the priest would pray for the end of contraception or other stances on which I disagreed.
At some point, my daughter, who was attending Catholic school then, asked me why we went to Mass if I didn’t believe in it.
Pope Francis' death reminds me his compassion
I’m not sure she bought my explanation. My faith, I told her, wasn’t based on the church itself.
The Vatican is the institution that manages the faith and has historically done a terrible job by excluding women to the priesthood and often ignoring people’s realities and suffering.
Sunday Mass still gave me the spiritual connection I craved. The music, the smell of incense and the prayer sent me into a trance that’s hard to describe to nonbelievers.
Even so, some of the words uttered by the priest at the altar didn’t resonate with my core beliefs.
Something profound happened with Pope Francis. He exuded humility and compassion and committed himself to reforming the church to be inclusive instead of promoting the exclusion of people.
He understood that times change but humanity doesn’t – or shouldn’t, anyway.
Vance was among the last individuals to see Pope Francis
A lot has been written about his progressive bent, including his outreach to LGBTQ+ Catholics, his defense of immigrants and his fight for the poor. Progressives, meanwhile, weren’t entirely happy because they felt he should have done a lot more.
But no other world leader has the kind of power over people’s souls – Catholic or not – that he had. There’s a reason why the most powerful men and women in the world made the pilgrimage to the Vatican to get an audience with him.
Circumstantially, among the last individuals to the get an official audience with Pope Francis on Easter Sunday ‒ a day before his death ‒ was U.S. Vice President JD Vance.
The Trump administration had waved off the pope’s concerns over its deportation plans. Will Vance have a change of heart now that he was one of the last world leaders to see Pope Francis?
I won’t hold my breath on Vance. But I hope we can build on Pope Francis’ moral compass and renew our faith in humanity.
Elvia Díaz is editorial page editor for The Arizona Republic and azcentral, where this column originally appeared. Reach her at elvia.diaz@arizonarepublic.com or follow her on X, (formerly Twitter): @elviadiaz1