DeSantis bans fluoride in Florida water, following RFK Jr.'s pro-tooth decay lead | Opinion
The National Cavity Association of America (NCAA), a pro-decay group that represents oral bacteria, sent me its enthusiastic response to DeSantis' decision to ban fluoride in drinking water.
Joining the growing chorus of American leaders who think science is dumb, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has officially banned fluoride from public water supplies.
He was following the encouragement of the U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who recently said of fluoride, without an ounce of reliable evidence: “The more you get, the stupider you are.” That statement suggests Kennedy and DeSantis have guzzled A LOT of fluoride, but the consensus in the medical community is that fluoridated water is both safe and wildly successful at preventing tooth decay.
The day before DeSantis signed the fluoride ban, Kennedy spoke what may be his first-ever honest words, telling a congressional hearing: "I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me." Nevertheless, DeSantis persisted and erred on the side of future root canals.
As a native Floridian, I speak from experience when I say the Sunshine State isn’t known for “good teeth” or “good decisions.” But I have received a statement from one group thrilled DeSantis made Florida the second state in America – the first was Utah – to do away with fluoride because people who probably also believe in ghosts think it’s bad.
The National Cavity Association of America (NCAA), a pro-decay group that represents oral bacteria, sent me the following, published here in full:
A pro-decay thank you to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis for banning fluoride
Huzzah! Today marks a great victory for mouth bacteria, plaque and gingivitis everywhere, and another resounding defeat for the murderous scolds at Big Fluoride.
We here at the National Cavity Association of America salute Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis for putting an end to decades of bacteria slaughtering at the hands of fluoridated water. It took great courage for the governor to ignore nefarious “health” groups like the American Dental Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics, as well as outdated concepts like “logic” and “expert advice.”
His pro-cavity decision was the right one to make, and as the governor noted after signing the bill into law May 15, putting fluoride “in the water supply is basically forced medication on people.” That’s correct. We at the NCAA firmly believe all Floridians are entitled to whatever degree of tooth rot they desire, and the government has no business intervening just because a harmless and effective preventative exists.
Fluoride denies oral bacteria the right to survive
For too long, the individual rights of mouth bacterium have been ignored. Do members of our community not have the right to feed on starch and sugar, then produce acids that demineralize tooth enamel and form perfectly natural cavities?
As we at the cavity association like to say: “A toothache is just your body’s way of thanking its oral bacteria.”
Making Gov. DeSantis’s bold decision more impressive is that it flies in the face of government propaganda published on the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website: “Community water fluoridation is a cornerstone strategy for prevention of cavities in the U.S. It is a practical, cost-effective, and equitable way for communities to improve their residents’ oral health regardless of age, education, or income. CDC named fluoridation of drinking water one of 10 great public health interventions of the 20th century because of the dramatic decline in cavities since community water fluoridation started in 1945.”
That is outrageous, and we hope our friend, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., removes such widely agreed-upon information as soon as possible before things like facts start making a comeback.
Fluoride reduces cavities by 25%. Do you trust scientists or bacteria?
The transparently anti-bacteria CDC website goes on to say: “Drinking fluoridated water keeps teeth strong and reduces cavities by about 25% in children and adults. This results in less mouth pain, fewer fillings or teeth pulled, and fewer missed days of work and school.”
To which we in the pro-cavity community say: "Sure, but have Americans subjected to fluoridated water ever been ASKED if they want less mouth pain, fewer fillings or teeth pulled, and fewer missed days of work and school?" Because if even one person wants more mouth pain or more fillings, or if even one outlier study deemed flawed by other researchers suggests something bad about fluoride, nobody can have it in their drinking water. That is literally in the constitution, we believe.
So kudos to Gov. DeSantis for his bold and righteous stance against the tyranny of fluoride. He has given countless Florida children and adults an opportunity to share in the joy of cavities, oral surgery and extended bouts of yuck-mouth.
It is our sincere hope that the governor’s mouth bacteria swiftly shows him all it can do without fluoride!
Follow Paste BN columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk