My dog's mobility loss and dementia broke my heart. Here's how I coped with it.
Let me tell you about my best friend.
The first time we met was in 2012, days after my 21st birthday. Bogart was an almost 3-month-old yellow Labrador and a future guide dog. I picked him up and took him to my college apartment in Athens, Georgia. I remember standing outside my apartment, giving him the opportunity to relieve himself before giving him the grand tour of his new home. After a few unsuccessful minutes, we ventured inside where he pooped, almost immediately. Quite the first impression!
As a future guide dog, he didn’t have the same privileges as some “normal” dogs, like the luxury of lounging on the furniture. But that didn’t stop him from finding many spots on the floor and against furniture to spend his favorite pastime: sleeping belly up.
Since Bogart, or Bogie as he was often called, was a future guide dog, he attended classes with me at the University of Georgia. He adapted to life as a canine college kid quite easily. Even though he slept through every class, he proudly walked across the stage with me when both of our names were called at graduation, nearly a year-and-a-half after our journey began. He was definitely a teacher’s pet!
Shortly after graduation, it was time for him to move on to the next phase of his future guide dog training with the Guide Dog Foundation. I often joked he was going to grad school, where he’d build on the “sit,” “stay” and “heel” commands he learned with me and develop skills like wearing a harness, using his nose to help someone is blind or partially sighted find a bus seat or stopping at a curb before crossing the street. Ultimately, he didn’t make the grade and was released from the program, meaning I got to adopt him and keep him forever.
That forever ended on July 2, 2024.
The time is never right
I believe in soulmates and I also believe in soul dogs. Bogart was my soul dog. He was exactly what I needed as a young, unmarried woman, exploring this big world alone for the first time.
With him, I wasn’t alone. I had my best friend right beside me.
He’s not the first dog I’ve lost and he won’t be the last. However, I do know I’ll never have another dog like him. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it, and I’m forever grateful.
Bogart had a wonderful life. He went to college. He went to work with me where he’d spend the 9-5 sleeping across my toes, unless someone was eating nearby. He moved with me to the Bay Area. He took a cross-country road trip home to Atlanta with me, stopping to see the Grand Canyon and the original London Bridge over Lake Havasu. He tried to make friends with the deer in my parents’ yard. He even used his journalism degree, making cameos on BBC News and in many of my Problem Solved videos. He made friends everywhere he went.
He was the kind of dog that regularly received the compliment, “I don’t like dogs, but I love your dog.”
He was gentle, he was hungry, he was funny, he was intelligent, he was hungry, he was nosy, he was lazy, he was hungry and he was my best friend.
Big Booty Bogie
Hip and arthritis issues are very common in older Labradors. They are one of a handful of large breeds prone to hip dysplasia, which can lead to arthritis according to the ASPCA. Bogart was a big Labrador, too, in both height and weight. At close to 95 pounds for most of his adult life, he was very good at using his big brown eyes to convince people to give him snacks. He earned the nickname “Big Booty Bogie” and he wore it with pride.
His hip issues became really noticeable around the end of February 2024. He was no longer jumping on my bed to sleep with me at night. He was no longer staking his claim on half the couch. He stopped wagging his tail.
Then, he began having trouble standing up. At first, I thought it was the combination of too long toenails on a hardwood floor. While that didn’t help, it wasn’t the problem. I laid rugs and doormats in his favorite spots on the hardwood floors: by the fridge and near the stove. This gave him the traction he needed to get up on his own, but, in time, it wasn’t enough. He could get himself up to a seated position but struggled to lift his big booty without human assistance.
You build a lot of trust when you have a dog for many years. That trust comes into play as they age and start to lose the ability to do things. Getting him up became a choreographed dance that started with the tapping of his front paws beginning to scoot, followed by a human appearing, standing behind him, scooping an arm underneath his hips and lifting until he was standing.
Eventually, this became helping him scoot his front legs up. Which then evolved into stabilizing his hips as he walked so he didn’t lose his balance and tumble over.
And, finally, it became using his dog bed like a magic carpet and pushing him from his spot in the TV room to the front door because the distance was too far for him to walk.
Mobility issues in dogs
I tried out a few items designed to help ease this process. I bought rubber grippers that slid onto his nails to provide traction. Bogart was never a fan of having his nails touched, so much so that he perfected the attempt of knocking the dremel out of my hands with his nose anytime I attempted to give him a pedicure. Suffice it to say, he wasn’t enthused about the grippers, but they didn’t bother him once they were on. The small, cylindrical grippers are akin to a strong and thick rubber band, so they require some effort and rubbing alcohol to slide on the nail. They did eventually slide off, however, Bogart’s traction was the least of my problems at that point.
I also bought a couple of harness slings designed to help lift, support and stabilize large dogs.
The slings didn’t work for us because he was too tall and I was too short to get the leverage needed to use it to the best of its ability. Due to his size and my strength, using a wagon or anything that would require lifting him in and out was not an option for us. While these options didn’t work for me, they may be a solution for other owners struggling with their pet’s mobility hurdles.
Getting a dog used to a ramp
What did help tremendously was a ramp. The one I purchased for him to use on the steps outside my parents’ home didn’t work due to the size and angle of the steps, so my dad built one. While this wasn’t Bogart’s first go-around with a ramp, it did take him a little time to get used to this new one, mainly because he was stubborn and still wanted to take the stairs. But with enough treats — who am I kidding, Labradors can never have enough treats! — and the reluctant realization it made life a little easier, he began to use it instead of the steps.
The ramp was about 16 feet long and spanned a 30-degree angle. It was sturdy enough to support multiple full-grown humans and a hefty Labrador. The process of getting him used to it was similar to teaching him “sit,” “stay” or “down” and it was important for him to associate the word “ramp” with this new skill. Our training started with patting the ramp with my hand or standing on it and encouraging him to check out the “ramp.” It evolved into holding a treat and walking up and down the ramp ahead of him, and eventually standing at the opposite end with the treat and letting him do it. Successful journeys earned him the treat, lots of love and “good ramp!” praises.
Even after he became comfortable with it, there were times I’d still have to physically block his access to the steps, giving him no choice but to use the ramp. I’d also have to supervise and walk alongside him because he’d attempt to be sneaky and hop off the ramp, mid-journey. Soon enough, the process became opening the door and saying “ramp.” Then, one day, he started doing it on his own.
Dogs get dementia too
I didn’t know dementia could impact animals.
As Bogart declined, he began to struggle overnight. He’d wake up every few hours and make a sound unlike the barks I heard over the previous 12 years we spent together.
There were many long, stressful and sleep-disrupted nights in his final months. Eventually, research landed me on “sundowners.” Sundowner syndrome is part of Cognitive Disfunction Syndrome and can result in pets being restless and agitated at night, according to the American Kennel Club. I mentioned his symptoms and my findings to his vet, and she agreed this was likely what Bogart was dealing with.
My parents and I established a schedule to help care for him overnight. Bogart preferred to sleep in the living room of their house, so the three of us rotated nights sleeping on the couch to help comfort him, readjust him and give him water when he’d wake up throughout the night. My retired parents had the weeknight duty and I had weekend duty. We quickly fell into the routine of starting our mornings with coffee and deeming it either a “good Bogie night” or a “bad Bogie night,” depending on how often he woke up.
All we could do was be there for him, and usually, that’s all he needed. I’m not proud to admit it, but I lost my patience with him in his last few months and asked him for forgiveness on more than one occasion, which was usually accepted with a gentle lick of my nose. I needed to remind myself that he wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was likely because he was scared, hurting and/or needing help. So, for any other dog parents dealing with this: give your dog some extra grace and don’t forget to give some to yourself, too.