A (fake) 16-song set list for LiAngelo Ball's first tour show after his lucrative Def Jam

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The streets (READ: the internet) are saying that LiAngelo Ball has a banger on his hands with his new viral song, "Tweaker."

It looks like Def Jam is a firm believer.

The record label has reportedly signed LiAngelo Ball to a $13 million deal with $8 million guaranteed because of his new song.

LiAngelo has worked himself into a pretty great come up off this song. Shoutout to him. That's excellent news.

But, uh, you guys. Can we be real for a second?

This man just signed a $13 million deal off of one song. ONE. That's wild. Def Jam, WYD? My guy doesn't even have an album yet. If he were to go on tour right now, he'd have to play 16 different variations of "Tweaker" and they'd all center around the first 10 seconds of the song.

If you're wondering what that might look like, don't worry. I already thought about it. I apologize in advance.

Song 1: Tweaker

This is the moment, man. The crowd is swerving. The crowd is bending the corner. WHOA. OH. We're living, folks. This is the stuff dreams are made of.

Song 2: Tweaker (Encore)

You thought LiAngelo was just going to give it to them one time? A song this viral? This visceral? This breathtaking? Nah, man. He has to run it back at least one time.

The crowd is still swerving. They're still bending the corner. It's still like WHOA. You know the vibes.

Song 3: Tweaker (Reprisal)

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FINISHED?!? YOU THOUGHT WRONG.

You guys. This is the song of 2025. OF COURSE, LiAngelo had to run it back again. And y'all thought Kendrick did Not Like Us too many times at the pop-out. TUH.

This time he switches the lyrics up a little bit on the back end, but nobody can really tell because y'all don't know them anyway.

We're still swerving. We're still bending the corner. It's still WHOA.

Song 4: Tweaker (LaVar Ball remix)

Picture this. The crowd is still rocking. They're still vibing. They're still tweakin. And then, all of a sudden, a burly silhouette emerges from out of the tunnel.

It's...it's...IT'S LAVAR BALL!

HE STARTS RAPPING. WE'RE SWERVING. WE'RE STILL BENDING THE CORNER. WHOAAAAAA. OH.

Song 5: Tweaker (Instrumental)

CAN'T STOP. WON'T STOP. TWEAKER. AGAIN.

This time, it's just the instrumental version. But instead of LiAngelo rapping, he puts the mic out for the audience to rap the lyrics.

Unfortunately, after the first ten seconds of the song, everybody stops rapping because they have no idea what he says after the WHOA OH part.

Song 6: Tweaker (A capella variation)

Yes. We're still running it back. But this time the beat is gone. It's just LiAngelo rapping.

The crowd is staring in confusion. They've got a collective look that says, "OH. That's what he said right there. Huh. Never knew that." It's become very apparent that everyone was hitting the back button as soon as the first part of the hook was over.

Song 7: Tweaker Pt. 2 (We still Tweakin\')

Wait, I thought this was part two? Why does it sound like part one? Whatever.

BOUTA SWERVE AND BEND THAT CORNER, WHOA, OH.

Songs 8-16: Tweaker

Honestly, I ran out of different ways to describe Tweaker. So I'm just going to throw a general Tweaker here and hope that it works for you.

Swerve. Bend that corner. Whoa.

UPDATE ON ROB DILLINGHAM

Paste BN's Cody Taylor spoke to Timberwolves coach Chris Finch about their rookie guard:

"I think the biggest challenge for him and all players like him is just patience," Finch said. "Understand to put the work in, figure out how to be a good pro, develop the right habits and wait for your opportunities. They'll come. They'll definitely come. When you get them, you have to be prepared for them. It is all about having patience and perspective right now."

Here is more on Rob Dillingham.

Shootaround

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