What Chris Rock did was disgraceful, but Will Smith's violent act was worse | Opinion
Let's begin this insane, sordid and absolutely bonkers story about The Slap Heard Round The World by focusing on one person first: Jada Pinkett Smith.
Chris Rock didn't just tell a joke. What he did was verbally abuse Smith. He abused a woman with a medical disability in front of millions of people around the world. If you don't recognize what Rock said as abusive misogyny, then you're a fool. If you don't recognize what Rock did as a lack of respect for a Black woman, you're a bigger fool.
Too many men hate women. Too many men especially hate Black women.
In many ways, what happened on that stage was one of the best examples of what it's like for Black women in this country. Yes, comedians make jokes about all actors at the Oscars, but this isn't the 1990s. Thankfully, we've evolved, and there are lines that can be crossed, and Rock didn't just cross one, he did so in a cruel manner before everyone.
Rock's defenders will say that maybe he didn't know about Smith's condition, but that seems unlikely, because she has spoken so publicly about it. Hell, if I knew it, how didn't he?
Yes, how Smith was treated by Rock was shameful.
Yet how Will Smith acted was disgraceful.
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There cannot be a functioning, healthy society where someone can walk up to another person and just assault them after some imaginary line has been crossed.
Violence is a continuum. It's not static or isolated. It can start out small, even be disguised as heroism, as defending your woman, but violence often escalates. It doesn't care about walls, jokes or borders. It's as sneaky as it is nuclear.
We're addicted to it. We cheer on excessive amounts of it. We inflict it on one another in small and global doses. We've gotten almost anesthetized to it. In some ways, cruelty is our jam. In some ways, violence is the GNP of the human race.
Mostly, violence is an uncontrollable force, and by far, men commit most of it. This isn't to say that Will Smith's act means he's more susceptible to becoming a domestic abuser. That was a common theme among, to be blunt, mostly white women on social media who claimed that Smith's act of violence against Rock means it would inevitably lead to domestic violence against his wife. I question whether these points would have still been made if the participants were white.
What's definitely accurate is that continuum of violence can be unstoppable. Once you rationalize one act of violence, you can do so for others. It's also true that women are often the recipients of violence from men.
From Opinion: As a Black man, I hate to see what happened with Will Smith and Chris Rock. But it can be a teachable moment.
“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them," author, poet and activist Margaret Atwood once said.
Obviously, outside of those moments, at times violence is a requirement. Fighting a war to stop Hitler. A civil war to end slavery. Fighting to protect yourself if someone physically attacks you. Stopping an autocrat who invades another nation. Violence can be needed to save lives or sometimes even civilization itself.
This, however, was not one of those times when violence was needed. Far from it.
Late Monday night, Will Smith offered an extensive written apology, and the first sentence of it acknowledges the ugliness of violence.
"Violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive," his statement said.
Will Smith's acceptance speech, which doubled as his initial version of an apology, is additional proof he was wrong to slap Rock. You know why? He quoted Richard Williams, the man he portrayed in the movie "King Richard" about how Williams raised Venus and Serena Williams.
“Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family,” Smith said. He later mentioned several of the movie's co-stars.
“In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world," he said. "Making this film, I got to protect Aunjanue Ellis, who is one of the most strongest, most delicate people I’ve ever met. I got to protect Saniyya (Sidney) and Demi (Singleton), the two actresses who play Venus and Serena. I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people and to be a river to my people.”
Williams was indeed a sturdy force field for his daughters. But there's an interesting story on how Williams handled one particularly ugly incident.
The two tennis stars have faced decades of racism and double standards. At one tournament early in their careers, Richard Williams said he was called racial slurs.
"When Venus and I were walking down the stairs to our seats, people kept calling me 'nigg--,"' Williams was quoted as saying.
"One guy said, 'I wish it was '75; we'd skin you alive.' That's when I stopped and walked toward that way. Then I realized that (my) best bet was to handle the situation nonviolently. I had trouble holding back tears. I think Indian Wells disgraced America."
Thus Williams endured abuse, wanted to act violently, and decided not to.
It's unlikely that as Will Will Smith walked up that ramp to slap Rock, he was channeling Richard Williams. He was just angry.
This isn't to say turn the other cheek. I'm not that guy. This is to say violence should be used sparingly, as a last resort, when you have no choice.
Because in many cases the violence never ends.