29 things every fantasy football addict knows
1. You wake up in the middle of the night, check the waiver wire, then go back to sleep
2. You watch your computer/phone update more than the actual game
3. You have nightmares about player injuries
4. You irrationally start liking players who once played well for you…
5. …and hating the players who didn't.
Damn you, Arian Foster!
6. You understand what the phrase "fantasy kryptonite" means
7. You pick up someone after one big week and never play him
8. You break down all your wins and losses for other people even when you know they don't care
9. You have panic attacks when players go into the locker room to get checked.
10. You get furious at referees for not throwing more unnecessary roughness penalties.
11. You lobby support to veto other people's trades
12. You including offline favors for online trade deals
13. You find ways to pump up/put down players to psyche out your opponents
"Seriously, bro, Nick Foles is the next Kurt Warner."
14. You get legitimately angry when a team scores without using your player
WHY WOULD YOU THROW IT TO HIM?!
15. You remember all your heartbreaking losses from past fantasy football seasons…
16. …and all the good players you traded away too early.
17. You keep a spreadsheet to look at your past finishes
18. You're in so many leagues that you've literally lost count
19. You check repeatedly the day after a close loss hoping a stat correction will deliver you the win.
20. You torment yourself by going back and looking at how the draft played out
21. You get anxious when one of your players is "questionable" or "probable" before a game
Especially before a 4:15 game.
22. You change your team name just to end a losing streak
23. You start being able to diagnose player injuries yourself
Turf toe is worse than you think.
24. You get legitimately happy when all your waivers go through
25. You sneak away from everyone to check stats in the bathroom
26. You start feeling actual conflict when your players face your favorite real team
"I just want a high-scoring game"