Wisconsin high school volleyball coach and player share cancer journey: 'We won’t give up'

SHAWANO, Wis. — The 2020 Shawano High School girls volleyball team had two coaches, one literal and one figurative.

The literal one was a 65-year-old United Church of Christ pastor taking over a program for the first time. The figurative was a then-17-year-old senior setter who hadn’t competed in a varsity match since she was a sophomore.

Both the pastor, Lew Worthington, and player, Abby Tuma, would play greater roles in each other's lives than they knew when they first met at the end of July.

“First day I met him I walked up and said ‘Hi, I’m Abby and I’ve had cancer,’” Tuma said. “He told me we’d get through this together. I knew right then he’d be a big part of my journey.”

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Tuma’s world changed when she was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma, a form of brain cancer, as a sophomore. Worthington would receive his own life-altering diagnosis — pancreatic cancer — not even six months after that first meeting in July.

“We both lived really happy lifestyles and were blindsided,” Worthington said.

But Worthington had someone in his corner.

“I thought, ‘I’m going to be his cancer coach,’” Tuma said. “I knew I wanted to give back to him and this made sense.”

His words from their first meeting would prove prophetic. They would get through cancer together.

“It’s easy to want to give up, but sports teaches us to endure pain for a long-term goal,” Worthington said. “Abby is a great example of that. It’s infinitely easier with a great support system.”

Hard-earned wisdom

The Tuma family’s life was turned upside down on Jan. 17, 2019, when a CT scan of Abby’s brain showed a mass.

Her father, Steve, had just gotten home from dropping off Abby at school after the scan when he received word he needed to get her to Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee immediately.

“Kind of like we got hit by lightning,” Steve said. 

“I stopped on the sidewalk and cried,” Abby said. “I remember asking if I’m going to die and told my parents I was sorry. At that point I thought it was my fault. What kid doesn’t want to make their parent proud? Thought I let them down.”

Her parents knew this was as far from the truth as possible.

Abby had shown signs of excelling at volleyball since fourth grade, when the then-varsity coach singled her out.

By sophomore year, she’d made her way to varsity and was receiving interest from NCAA Division II and III schools, but that was all on hold.

“Volleyball was put aside, but it was what kept her going,” said her mother, Kerri. “Was devastating but it helped drive her.”

Steve acknowledged seeing his daughter’s favorite sport taken away through no fault of her own was tough.

“Was absolutely crushing,” Steve said. “Doesn’t matter if it’s sports, band or choir, as a parent you love seeing your children succeed.

“So proud. So many moments during her journey makes you so proud.”

While undergoing chemotherapy and her body a shell of its former self, Abby coached the varsity team to a summer league championship before her junior year.

The role is usually filled by a parent, but it was a flash of the leader she was becoming.

“Gave me something to do,” Abby said. “Couldn’t go to the lake, swimming or for a bike ride. I have that coach inside of me. Maybe something I’d want to do one day.”

It’s that fire and perseverance which amazes her mother.

“She is my hero,” Kerri said. “The biggest heart, the kindest soul. I look up to her.”

Back to the court

Save for a brief moment in the first match of her junior season, it would be almost two years before Abby was able to compete again for Shawano.

Abby finished her chemo in April and was cancer-free, but still couldn't return to the court amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I knew I was going to play again, just wasn’t sure when,” Abby said.

Worthington, meanwhile, had arrived in Shawano to become pastor at Peace United Church of Christ just before the pandemic in February.

“Always loved getting into communities and finding a way to participate,” Worthington said. “I had experience coaching volleyball as an assistant, so thought I’d try that.”

When another school in the area asked him to coach the varsity volleyball team, he thought he’d see if Shawano needed one first as that was his new home.

By the end of July, Worthington would take over the Hawks program with visions of a lasting tenure.

Even before her unique introduction, Abby was well known by Worthington through his connections in the community.

“I knew we needed a spiritual bedrock even if she wasn’t where she wanted to be physically,” Worthington said.

Abby thought with enough training she could be at 100% by the start of the season, but admits she was only at roughly 30 to 40%.

The senior thought she would play the first match of the season, but her debut would have to wait until the second match against Menasha.

“By the end of the first game I was pretty mad at him,” Abby said of Worthington not playing her in the opener. “I didn’t want to be put in the game for pity, though, I wanted to be because he thought I was good.”

On Sept. 19, 21 months and four days since her diagnosis, Abby was back on the court.

“Was like, ‘Whoa, this is happening,’” Abby said.

Steve and Kerri, in the stands in Menasha, were beaming so wide not even a face mask could hide their smiles.

“That was the peak of her Mount Everest, getting a standing ovation even at a road game,” Steve said. “Was her Everest, for sure.”

“Got goosebumps to see her out there,” Kerri said. “Never let it run through my mind she wasn’t going to get better.”

Dreaming of that return is what kept Abby going while lying alone in hospital beds.

“I didn’t want to give up volleyball,” Abby said. “I told myself to get through this so I could play again. It helped me beat cancer.”

‘This is all happening again’

Shawano finished 4-6 during a COVID-19-shortened season, but there was optimism.

“I thought this was the start of a great Shawano program,” Abby said.

Throughout the season, Abby and Worthington developed a strong bond.

“He was more of a father figure, proud of my accomplishments,” Abby said. “Was there to motivate and encourage me.”

Worthington saw something special in Abby from their first conversation.

“Such a fighter and everyone saw that fire and drive,” Worthington said.

Their bond made Worthington’s diagnosis in December all the more painful.

“It hit me like the first day I found out I had cancer,” Abby said. “This is all happening again.”

Just 10 months after he’d arrived in Shawano, Worthington decided to return to Michigan, settling in Holt, near Lansing, to begin treatment.

Abby gathered up items she thought Worthington would need such as a tie blanket, a GrubHub gift card and puzzles, which were his "drills" just like he’d given her during the season.

“I wanted him to rest, he needed to eat and puzzles helped keep my mind off treatment,” Abby said. “I had to send his box of ‘drills’ as his coach because I probably would never see him again with me being a senior and him in Michigan.”

Again, her parents were astonished but not shocked.

“Abby is a strong, determined and fearless young lady,” Steve said. “She’s had more experience with cancer than (Worthington), so she could help. Part of her healing process.”

“Abby seems drawn to him,” Kerri said.

Next steps

Given his day job, Worthington reflects on the reasons he moved to Shawano and met Abby at this specific moment in time.

“I felt a divine call to be there,” Worthington said. “Was I there to get help, I don’t know. That’s a question for someone with a higher power than me.”

Worthington admits his prognosis might not be good.

“Probabilities are not in my favor,” Worthington said.

Just like Worthington would say when the Hawks were down in a match, Abby the coach isn’t going to let him dwell on the negatives.

“Me and him were given this sickness because God knows we’re strong enough to beat it. We won’t give up,” Abby said before her voice cracks. “I think he’s going to beat it and come back. Don’t want to think about it going any other way.”

Abby will attend UW-La Crosse in the fall with the hope of playing volleyball in some fashion, be it walking on to the college team, playing club or bar league.

She received the Spirit of Sport Award from the WIAA, which is given to individuals who exemplify the ideals of the spirit of sport that represent the core mission of education-based athletics.

In nearly 30 years in the ministry, Worthington says Abby is the first person he’s met who has really shared the whole story about what cancer is truly like, and for that he’s grateful.

“Abby has given me a lot of hope,” Worthington said. “She’s been through a lot but look where she’s at now. She’s going to continue to give that support.”