Brent Venables' daughter helps him lay his fears aside about becoming a head coach
NORMAN, Okla. — Brent Venables always is telling his young daughters to dream big. To ignore the naysayers. To disregard limitations.
So about a month ago, in their South Carolina home, Venables laid down with Laney to say goodnight prayers and reinforce the message. This time, his daughter had a question.
“She says, ‘Well, dad, why didn’t you take the Auburn job last year?’” Venables related Monday.
Venables, almost 10 years into his job as Clemson’s defensive coordinator, told his daughter he was a little nervous about the Auburn head-coaching job, that War Eagle didn’t have quite the right “alignment,” and that he was a little scared to become a head coach, because of what it might do to his family time.
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“You don’t have to be scared,” Laney said. “You told us to dream big. Chase your dream.”
But that’s the thing. Maybe Venables already was living his dream. Coaching football, getting paid handsomely, lovely family.
“I was always afraid that I would get so engrained in my job that I would have to miss softball practice or taking the girls to school in the morning or missing a weekend tournament,” Venables said. “I have so much fun. That’s what living is all about. I was afraid a little bit at times of becoming a head coach because you might lose that balance.”
We’ve been talking for 20 years about Venables becoming a college football head coach, and Sunday, Venables finally put his fear aside.
Not at Auburn or Miami or Kansas State or Texas Tech, places where Venables could have been a head coach by now. But at Oklahoma, where he spent 13 seasons as a Bob Stoops assistant, before spreading his wings at Clemson the last decade.
Seems an easy sell to say Venables was waiting on the right job, one of the best jobs, sort of the way Stoops did so many years ago, except Stoops was 38 by the time he had turned down Arkansas and Minnesota and Iowa to become a Sooner. Venables is 50.
Did Venables ever worry that it was getting late in the day, that he might be like OU icon Merv Johnson, one of the sport’s most respected men but a career assistant?
“I didn’t worry,” Venables said. “Mindful, yes. And reflective on what would it look like or what would it look like if I didn’t, that as well.
“I’ve had plenty of opportunities where I just bowed out on the front end or said no during the process. A year ago (Auburn) was probably closest.”
You know, not every coach wants to be a head coach. And not every coach who wants to be a head coach CRAVES being a head coach, at all costs.
“I’ve had a great job” at Clemson, Venables said. “An amazing job. The quality of life, literally for the last 10 years, I went to work every day and I got filled up as a human being. And that’s hard to quantify for some people.
“But I had perspective. I had awareness. I had appreciation. And I had a lot of fun. You try not to screw up happy. I learned that a long time ago.”
Don't mess with happy. That’s a lesson for us all. Whether it’s Lincoln Riley leaving for Southern Cal or OU leaving for the Southeastern Conference or me leaving for the Bokchito Times, don’t let status and money be the sole drivers. Remember to consider contentment.
That’s the word that comes to mind when considering Venables. Contentment. I’ve known him for 23 years, and whether he’s screaming on the sidelines or chatting about a midnight cheeseburger, he’s always seemed content. Whether a third wheel with the Brothers Stoops in the early days of the OU revival, or Dabo Swinney’s chief lieutenant in the remarkable Clemson success story, Venables never seemed to need the spotlight that goes with being the boss.
Maybe that’s why Venables spent two decades playing hard-to-get. He never needed what schools were offering. Until Joe Castiglione came calling.
“I’m a simple guy,” Venables said. “I value some things that maybe other people don’t, maybe moreso. I value relationships. I value people. I value quality of life. And I value simplicity. Just because you become the head coach doesn’t mean you can’t keep things simple. You control that narrative.
“And listen, this is Oklahoma, all right? Alabama’s never offered me a head job. I don’t want to go down my small rolodex of schools, but this is THAT program.”
In other words, hard to turn down the Sooners.
“This is a no-brainer in my opinion,” Venables said. “For all the reasons that I said – from the leadership to the alignment to the success of this program and its history and location and people. All of it.”
And the timing was exquisite. A month after Laney Venables told him to chase his dream.
“Sometimes you need just a little bit more encouragement to get you pulled through the knothole,” said Venables, who laid down to say his prayers but was reminded that half of prayer is listening, too.