Mardy Fish is going out his way at U.S. Open
NEW YORK — As he embarks on his last U.S. Open — and final professional tennis tournament of his career — American Mardy Fish vividly remembers his proudest moment here, back in 2008 against Gael Monfils.
“I got to play in the fourth round and it was my dad’s birthday on Labor Day,” Fish told Paste BN Sports in a phone interview. “It was an afternoon match on CBS, a beautiful day, not too hot. I remember playing fantastic in that match, making the quarterfinals of the U.S. Open for the first time.”
Four years later, however, Fish would then have his darkest Open moment — and the darkest moment of his career — when, shaken by a season of heart trouble and growing anxiety, he suffered a full-on panic attack before what would be another match to remember: a fourth round encounter with Roger Federer.
Wednesday he plays again in New York, after returning Monday to the U.S. Open for the first time since that 2012 scare, beating Marco Cecchinato and setting up a second-round encounter with No. 18 seed Feliciano Lopez.
Paste BN Sports caught up with Fish, 33, before the tournament to discuss his career, his favorite U.S. Open memories and more.
Q: You first played at the U.S. Open 15 years ago at the age of 18. What do you remember of that match?
A: “I drew Jan-Michael Gambill and he was a top-30 player. I was up two sets to love and up a break in the third, then everything crumbled. It was a learning process about what three out of five sets was. At that point in my career, it felt like ‘OK, if I have a two-set lead this is over,’ but that wasn’t the case. We played on Louis Armstrong, which is my favorite court there.”
Q: As you play your last event, what really stands out to you when you look back on your career?
A: “It’s been a long 15 years. I have been playing junior tournaments since I was 8 years old. People don’t understand; they say to me: ‘You’re only 33.’ But eventually comes to an end. I’m very proud of the work I put in, especially in the second part of my career. I’m proud of making the ATP World Tour Finals in 2011 and the Olympic silver medal [in 2004]. I’ve achieved some amazing things that I never thought were possible. I’m open to talking about what I’ve been through with my anxiety disorder and my mental health struggles to try and help other people. I don’t think that’s my legacy, the player with the mental health stuff, but if I can help on or 10 or 100 people, if they can draw from my story, then that’s worth it to me.”
Q: This summer you’ve had the chance to go on a farewell tour of sorts: Atlanta; Washington, DC; Cincinnati; New York. What has that been like?
A: “I’ve had nice support from players and fans alike. I had nice moments with Andy [Roddick] in Atlanta. It was just awesome to play doubles with him one last time. We had a nice ceremony in DC.”
Q: How important was it for you to go out on your own terms? You tried mini comebacks in both 2013 and 2014 and it just didn’t work.
A: “That’s the reason I’m doing this now. I’m not playing my best tennis by any means. It’s more of a personal thing to go out on my own terms. No one wants to be taken away from the game the way I was. What do you do? This is the only thing I’ve done well my whole life and I’ve done it exceptionally well. It’s really personal. In 2013-14 I was playing [pro] golf and playing mini tour events and I had a lot of fun doing it, but in the back of my mind, there was tennis. I’ve been to all these places all over the world: Portugal, Vietnam, you name it. Don’t get me wrong, this game has given me a ton, but I felt like it owed me the opportunity to do it my way.”
Q: How hard were those stops and starts over the last couple of years, too?
A: “I was trying to come back, no doubt about it. That was the hardest part; it wasn’t an injury. There was no timetable. That was the hardest part. There was no success story for me to look at. It was starting all over again.
Q: Especially because you were really peaking in your career. [Fish reached a career-high No. 7 in August of 2011.]
A: “I felt pretty good at that time. I was in a place where I had worked so hard in my career that I wanted to be able to play the big tournaments. And then I had my deepest, darkest moments in 2012. I was still in the top 10 in the world. It was a goal of mine and it had… Well, it was at the height of my career. That part has always been tough to deal with for me. I got to play the World Tour Finals [in 2011]. I’m grateful that I was able to put it all together. It was taken away from me when I was at my top.”
Q: So how did the decision actually come about to actually play this summer, and the way you’ve done it?
A: “It’s just been kind of hard trying to figure out what I can and can’t play. Everyone is so competitive and you watch your friends doing well and you feel helpless at times. People forget that it happened to me at the height of my career. I felt out of sight, out of mind. You put your head on your pillow every night knowing you’ve worked as hard as possible. It’s been a fun ride.”
Q: Take us back a little. What happened in 2012 that made you step away like you did?
A: “I had a heart procedure in May and things checked out. I wasn’t worried about that. But that opened up a whole new world on the mental side with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Truthfully, it opened my mind and eyes to a world that I knew nothing about. No one close to me had ever dealt with something serious like that. In the third round of the U.S. Open in 2012 [against Gilles Simon] I had a major anxiety/panic attack during the match. It was the tipping point. I was in the doctor’s office in Ashe [Stadium] and everyone was in there and it’s 2:30 in the morning and there was nothing they could do or I could do. It was the moment that I knew something was seriously wrong. And two days later, I was supposed to play Federer, the actual match that you play for and train for.”
Q: And what do you think the U.S. Open will feel like? One last time?
A: “It will certainly be special. This was the tournament where it all pulled away from me. Hopefully the competitiveness will jump out and I will think I can win the tournament. Even though I can’t. I’ve played so many fun matches there. I have had the great fortune to play on [Arthur Ashe and Louis Armstrong Stadiums]. I’ve had great crowd support and fan support. I’m happy that I’m saying good-bye at this tournament. There’s a reason I’m doing this at the U.S. Open.”
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