Digital Life: If poking is so passé, why you still doing it?

Paste BN columnist Steven Petrow offers advice about digital etiquette.

Q: The other day I got a message that a friend on Facebook had "poked" me – I didn't even know you could still do that! Five or six years ago it felt cute, but this time it felt a little weird, like sending a message, "I'm watching you." Most of my friends tell me to just ignore it, but I wonder if I shouldn't tell the poker that this is way old, and to stop doing it.

– Poked and Peeved

A: Every couple of months I get a Facebook poke, almost always from a complete stranger, and I have no idea what their intention is. But one word comes to mind when it happens: Creepy.

I'm surprised that people poke at all – I thought it had gone the way of dot matrix printers and DOS, 56K modems and "You've got mail." Plus, where do you even find it on your Facebook page? (If you must know, it's hidden in the "…" link next to the message option on your friends' pages, which just makes me want to say, don't go there.)

Curious about how people would respond, I decided to poke a half dozen of my friends. Among the replies: "Harmless," "awkward but funny" (which is why this friend says he still pokes regularly), then a slew answered, "creepy." I asked my poked friends what they thought it meant, which drew blanks, clearly supporting the Urban Dictionary definition: "[A] gesture on the online community of Facebook that is sure to leave the recipient utterly baffled."

In fact, Facebook itself isn't much help in deciphering the poke. The site's help page says: "People poke their friends or friends of friends on Facebook for a lot of reasons (ex: just saying hello, getting their attention)." Which leaves me with the same question I started with: Why?

I recommend a strict no-poking policy, myself. For those of you who must poke, or think it's funny, take notice:

• Poke in moderation, and poke only those you know. Understand that your poke is likely to be misunderstood; consider texting an emoji that represents your feelings – or a short message — rather than poking.

• Don't use pokes to flirt (BTW, that's mostly directed at guys reading this). As a friend told me: "If someone pokes you and it feels creepy, you probably shouldn't be friends with that person..."

• If on the receiving end, don't take a poke too seriously and know that reciprocity is not required. (Actually, unless you poke back, the instigator can't poke you a second time.)

Don't say I didn't warn you. In fact, I'd say it's time to send the poke into the history books, along with the Atari video game console and PalmPilot.

Agree or disagree with my advice? Let me know in the comments section.

Submit your question to Steven at stevenpetrow@earthlink.net. You can also follow Steven on Twitter: @StevenPetrow. Or like him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow.