On your next business trip, turn everyone's heads by riding this scooter suitcase through the airport

Remember a few years ago when it seemed like every kid you encountered had a pair of those sneakers with built-in roller skate wheels? Just walking through an airport felt like some kind of underage obstacle course as you warily eyed every child in Terminal C, hoping that you could make it from one side to the other without losing an Achilles tendon to an out-of-control eight-year old. Well, this is your chance to get even.

Suitsupply, the Amsterdam-based men's fashion retailer, has seemingly forced a luxurious carry-on bag to mate with a Razor scooter, creating the insane offspring it calls the Race Case. The $599 Italian calf-leather suitcase has an extendable leather-wrapped handle, a convenient storage pocket for a laptop and a fold-down wheeled foot platform that allows you to ride it to your departure gate. That's right, you scoot around on this expensive, elegant monstrosity like you're on an elementary school playground.

The problem with this thing isn't the price tag – which could be spent on a fantastic non-rideable suitcase – or that it somehow has to defy physics to stay upright after you've loaded a weekend's worth of clothes in it. It's that you will IN NO WAY look as cool as the fashionably dressed, sleekly groomed gentleman who demonstrates it on Suitsupply's website — not when you're out of control on a moving sidewalk, awkwardly slamming into a rack of James Patterson paperbacks or flipping it over, splitting it open and asking a stranger if she could please hand you that pair of boxers that just landed on her foot.

When it comes to being obnoxious on two wheels, it's probably best if you leave it to the professionals. And by professionals, I mean those kids that just whizzed past you.