Will Swiss Airlines ruin the miracle of aviation with in-flight phone calls?

With the introduction of several new Boeing 777-300ER aircraft into its service, Swiss Airlines will proudly unveil a new suite of digital services for its customers, helping them to stay connected while soaring through the skies. But might one of the airline's much-heralded new amenities ruin the miracle of flight for many of us onboard?

In addition to the increasingly familiar in-flight Wi-Fi service that Swiss will now offer its customers, the airline has also announced that it will now permit passengers to place in-flight telephone calls. Swiss promises that there will be carefully considered restrictions on the newfound phone service. On overnight flights, for example, calls will only be permitted during meal service. But truthfully, do we really want our seatmates making telephone calls at any point during a flight?

I've seen my fellow passengers gesticulating wildly during what should have been a subdued game of solitaire on their smartphone. One can only imagine the ducking and dodging of limbs that will become necessary when those same sorts of people are able to place impassioned phone calls from their middle seats. Why impassioned? Because if you're the sort of person who is unable to savor the sweet off-the-grid window of opportunity that airplane mode provides you with when flying, of course every phone call is going to be an emotionally volatile one.

Brace yourself for the in-flight breakup calls, people. Prepare for the in-flight emergency calls from the babysitter and the in-flight arguments with reception desks at hotels in your destination city. If you think jostling for elbow room and an undisciplined child kicking the back of your seat is the height of in-flight inconvenience right now, just wait until you're seated directly in front of the man who decides to speakerphone himself into the board's weekly finance call.

Or worse yet, wait until you are expected to place that call yourself. "We booked you one of those phone call flights, Carol, so you can join us for the meeting after all." This will not end well for any of us. Take it back, Swiss Airlines. Take it back, before it's too late!